Serendipity - A Yuzuru Hanyu Fanfic

xxi.

3rd Person's POV

Normally, Luna Saito would be devastated about her recent Short Program score at the NHK Trophy.

It wasn't the case though.

She wanted to feel something. She knows she messed up and it wasn't something to be happy about. Even though its disappointment, anger, sadness, she still wants to feel something. Anything.

But no. Nothing. 

Luna Saito is numb. From another person's perspective, everything that happened was not her fault, nor anyone's for that matter. 

However, something flipped a switch in her brain, messing up her emotions, saying that she ruined someone's life because she is a burden.

Honestly, she felt the exact same way when she learned about her condition. Luna remembers vividly how she wanted to disappear at the thought of having to worry her family and becoming a burden.

Its been years since she felt like this. She thought she recovered from it but her inner demons are messing with her head. Now, not only is she fighting with her physical condition but also with her conscience. 

"You ready, Luna?" Uncle Brian asks. Sitting at 5th place after yesterday's disastrous short, she awaits her turn after Mirai Nagasu of the US.

In silence, she gives him a small nod with her face void of any kind of expression. This makes his Uncle sigh deeply before hugging her for comfort. 

"Its okay, Luna. Its okay. I know its hurting. But Yuzuru is fine. You're fine." He whispers softly, patting her back. 

"I'm not asking." Luna replied. 

Though she answered coldly, her eyes tell a different story as one, two, three drops of tears fell from her face. She immediately grabbed a tissue, pretending to blow her nose but actually wiping away the tears. The last thing she wants to happen is for the world to see her cry tears that are not of happiness. 

As Uncle Brian was about to talk again, he was cut off.

"Next skater from Canada. Please welcome, Luna Saito."

Despite the disappointment of a program, as Luna describes it in her head, the crowd cheered louder than yesterday. Probably to show more support and to cheer her up.

Pity. They are cheering for me out of pity. Luna thought deep inside, or more like her inner demons are. 

However, she, once again for the nth time in a span of about 3 days, she flashed a phony smile. A smile that even though he can only see through the small, rectangular contraption, Yuzuru knows is fake.

Luna... even though its only been a few days, you're still as breathtaking as ever. Yuzuru thought as Luna glides across the rink to take her position.

With her eyes dull and lifeless, Luna started her free skate better than how she started her performance yesterday. 

Throughout her performance, its as if the only thing that's lively is how her costume freely flows with the wind, making her already graceful movements more elegant.