The Outcast

Chapter 22

Abel's POV

The weeks went by quickly and soon I found myself completely unoccupied. Elizabeth's wedding was only a week away so she was very busy with preparations and rarely in her room. I spent those free days roaming the castle, or catching up on sleep or reading and occasionally bothering Helga who was also pretty busy.

The castle was the liveliest I've seen it in months. The buzz of the upcoming wedding could be felt by every single worker. All except me. 

I wasn't too happy about the whole thing, knowing the true nature of the man Elizabeth was about to marry, of course I wouldn't be. I didn't like to see Elizabeth hurting and it seemed as if that was all that man brought her, pain. I can only imagine the things he will get away with once they're wedded. The vile thoughts that filled my head angered me and made my blood boil. I was hoping and praying to the gods that he would somehow change, but I had a strong feeling it wouldn't be changed in Elizabeth's favor.

I sighed at the thought as I made my way to the apple tree where Helga and I sat for lunch. The weather had changed over those three weeks, the snow had started to melt and even though there was still quite a chill to the air, the warm beams of sunlight seemed to balance it out. It was nice, not too cold, and not too warm. Just perfect .

I pushed open the door of the stable and greeted the many horses, running my hand along their muzzle.

"Abel, you're late." I jumped slightly, not being aware of Helga's presence. I glanced over to her and gave her a sheepish grin. She had her hands on her hips and a frown on her face.

"I'm sorry, I lost track of time." I said making my way over to her.

"Lost track doing what?" She raised a brow questionably.

Thinking of the princess. "I got engrossed in a book, my apologies." I bowed playfully before glancing back up at her. Her frown faltered and she rolled her eyes.

"Fine, whatever. Come." She pulled me over to the wagon. "I wanted to ask you something." She said after we both settled onto the wagon. I took my lunch from her and stuffed my mouth with a piece of bread.

"Ahk me wut." I mumbled out. She placed her hands over my mouth.

"Don't talk with food in your mouth Abel, that's disgusting." She scolded. I chuckled lightly and removed her hands. After swallowing I replied.

"What do you want to ask?"

She just smiled up at me for a minute and played with her fingers in her lap. I bit off another piece of bread as I waited for her to speak.

"Have you ever thought about having children?" She asked. The question took me by surprise and I coughed when I felt a piece of the bread lodge it's way in my throat. I slammed my hand against my chest in an effort to bring it up but with no luck. Helga quickly sensed the issue and handed me my metal bottle of water. I gulped it down and sighed when my airway was finally cleared, then I met her gaze.

"Children?" I asked. Where did this topic even come from? Helga nodded vigorously.

"Yes children. Wouldn't you want to have a mini you running around? You'd get to teach them how to walk and talk and everything about life." She said in awe, clasping her hands together and smiling brightly. 

I just stared at her, not quite sure what exactly to say. I had never thought about having children of my own,  it was never something that crossed my mind and now that she asked, the thought of it made my stomach churn. Having children was a big responsibility,  that was another human being that you had to raise, and feed and take care of until they were old enough to do so themselves. It was costly. Far too much money that I didn't even have. And just the thought of being a parent in itself scared me. I didn't grow up in a loving home, my parents weren't the best. I was abused by my father and my mother although she did the best she could for me it was still a very unpleasant experience. What if I ended up like my father, I know I would never do what he did but what if I end up hurting my child in some way, so much that it damages them for the rest of their lives.