Love with strings detached

Chapter 32

After a long study session with Theo working on our second essay, we decided to sit in the dining area of his studio, drinking wine as we wait for the food to cook.

The low volume of the TV playing in the background fills the silence between us.

"You haven't chosen a tattoo yet, why is that?" He speaks.

That is true, I haven't chosen a tattoo yet and it's been an hour since we finished studying. My eyes fall on the visible tattoos on his arm, looking at the rose one on his forearm in particular.

He's wearing a short sleeve oversized graphic t-shirt today with black joggers while I'm sitting here in a mini black satin dress.

"I'm very conflicted. I'm not sure which one I want to learn about," I say, keeping my gaze on his arm.

"Why is that?" He asks.

"I feel like one of them has a lot more significance to it than the other," I say, picking up my glass and taking a sip.

"And which one do you think is that?" He asks, twirling his glass on the table.

"I feel like I'll learn something important about you through the rose tattoo one but I'm not sure if I'm ready to hear it," I say, biting my lip as I watch him lift his glass and wrap his lips around the rim, gulping down his wine.

"Alright well, the choice is yours," he says, putting the empty glass down and extending his arm towards me whilst staring at me.

If his rose tattoo has any similar meaning to mine then maybe I'll get some answers to the questions and thoughts swirling in my head since we started sleeping together.

"The rose one," I say, darting out my tongue to wet my suddenly dry feeling lips.

"What made you choose that one in the end?" He asks, eyes slightly squint as they look into mine.

"Curiosity," I say shrugging.

"You know they say curiosity kills the cat," he says.

"Good thing I'm not a cat," I reply smiling.

He trails his fingers around the hand that holds with bleeding fingertips a rose from its stem.

"This rose tattoo has to do with my fear of love and how even though love could be this beautiful thing it can also ruin someone," he starts explaining.

"Love for some people lasts forever while for others it withers and dies just like rose petals. I believed in love until life showed me how painful it can be. There were times where I thought I was cursed when it came to love with how much I lost because of it and I don't even believe in higher powers and stuff imagine if I did," he scoffs lightly at the end.

"Funnily enough, I still like the idea of love but actual love scares me. The rose represents the beauty of love and pain with its stem full of thorns," he says looking at it.

Now, even though I feel like some thoughts that I had, have been cleared, new questions are forming in my mind with what he said.

I think that I'm not the only one that can develop feelings for the other but I'm the only one that can admit it, it seems.

What happened to change his mind on love?

How did life show him the pain that love can cause?

What did he mean by feeling cursed?

I part my lips ready to get answers to these questions but I hesitate and it doesn't go unnoticed by him.

"Go on," he whispers, staring at me with a very peaceful look in his eyes.