Spots Off 🐞 (A Miraculous Ladybug Fanfiction)

14- Sky High Butterflies

Marinette's POV

Adrien and I sit across from each other in the cart. It's been over a half hour now and we're still stuck on the Ferris wheel. We've run out of things to talk about and it's awkward. Too awkward, even for my standards. When I was Ladybug, it was so easy to have a conversation with Adrien. I didn't have to worry about what to say, but now it's different. It's weird. Here I am, sitting here with my boyfriend, who doesn't know he's my boyfriend, who I also had to dump because of Hawkmoth, so technically he's my ex-boyfriend, but now he's my fake-boyfriend. All these strings of complicated and Adrien doesn't have a clue.

"Marinette?" Adrien asks out of nowhere. "Something on your mind?"

"W-What?" I ask, focusing my attention on him.

Laughing, he says, "I can tell by the look in your eyes, there's something turning the wheels in your head. Do you wanna talk about it?"

Yes. So desperately bad, Adrien, but I can't. "It's nothing. I was just thinking about... what if... the Ferris wheel just broke out of nowhere and we fell?"

Adrien's eyes widen. "That's some dark thinking."

Nervously laughing, I scratch my elbow, trying to think of something else to talk about. I look out the window. "Hey. There's Alya and Nino."

Adrien places his face against the glass and looks down. "What do you think they're talking about?"

Judging from the stuffed animals in their arms, I'm sure they've made a few jokes by now about being Rena Rouge and Carapace. I don't tell Adrien that, though, because that would give away my identity. "They're probably just talking about random boyfriend-girlfriend stuff."

"Oh?" Adrien questions, glancing over at me. "What's boyfriend-girlfriend stuff?"

"You know..." I lean back against the seat and cross my arms. "Holding hands. Kissing." I turn my face so Adrien doesn't see me blush.

"Is that all boyfriends and girlfriends do?" He asks, laughing. "Hold hands and kiss?" He stops and thinks to himself. "Well, then it shouldn't be that hard to convince everyone we're dating."

My eyes widen as my heart starts pounding against my chest, the butterflies begging to come out. Did Adrien really just say that? No, I'm daydreaming. The Ferris wheel broke and we fell to our death and I'm living out a perfect life with Adrien during my final minutes. See, this is why I don't get Adrien. He's said multiple times, over and over, that I'm such a good friend and he only sees me as that, but then why does he go and say something romantic like that? Is he really that clueless? Doesn't he realize by now I've got the slightest crush on him? He can't possibly be that dense, can he? How can he swear to love Ladybug and turn around and flirt with Marinette?

"Now you look mad," Adrien points out, leaning forward and resting his hand on my knee. "Is something bugging you?"

"How much did you love Ladybug?" I ask before my brain can catch up. I correct myself. "Do. How much do you love Ladybug?"

Adrien looks taken aback. "W-What? Why do you ask?"

"Well, you and Ladybug had a secret relationship for months, and you said you loved her more than anything." I can't bring myself to look him in the eye. "But then you go and..." Shut up, Marinette. Just stop talking before you make things worse. "I... never mind. I'm sorry."

"Go and do what?" Adrien asks, more confused than ever.

I shake my head, whispering, "Nothing, Adrien. I'm sorry. Just forget my stupid outburst." I rub my face, sighing, and give him a fake smile. "You must be happy to get out of the house, right? What would you be doing right now if I weren't here?"

Adrien stares at me for a moment before answering. "I'd probably be doing homework or pretending to do my piano lessons. Marinette, are you sure there isn't anything you want to talk about? I feel like you're mad at me about something and I don't know what I did to do that."

"No, Adrien, I'm not mad at you. I promise." I grab his hand and smile. "It's fine. Some things are better left unspoken."

He nods, quiet, and stares, like he's looking straight through me. He finally asks, "Why didn't you ever tell me you were friends with Ladybug?"

How do I answer that without revealing too much? "Why didn't you ever tell me you were friends with Cat Noir?" I ask instead, starting to grin.

Adrien starts to smile and begins laughing. "No, I get it. Ladybug probably swore you to secrecy. She was always like that with everything."

I stare in awe at my boy. "Tell me more about Ladybug. You seem to know her very well."

"I know her better than I know myself," Adrien says, instinctively scratching the back of his neck. I noticed he always does that when he's nervous. "The only thing I don't know is her secret identity. That she was always keen on keeping secret." Guilt starts to eat at me. "But I respected that. We all have secrets." Adrien looks up at me. "I know she was my first girlfriend, but she's the one. I know it. I've never felt that way for anyone before."

"Not even Kagami?" I whisper, hoping I'm not stepping over a boundary.

Adrien sighs. "Honestly, no. Kagami's a sweet girl and all, but I never really connected with her the way I do with Ladybug. It's like..." He smiles to himself. "She lights up a room when she walks in. All eyes turn to her. She's not paying attention to them, though, because she doesn't care about that kind of stuff, about being in the headlines or the spotlight or what everyone's talking about. She sees you, really sees you, and no one else matters. That's how she made me feel. She saw me, Marinette. She saw my inner demons and didn't care. She saw my struggles and supported me. Since the beginning, she has seen me, something that no one has before. Not even my father, who I beg constantly just to spend at least five minutes with. Just to ask how my day was, if I'm keeping my grades up, what's the new gossip around school.  He doesn't know who I truly am because he sees what he wants, what he wants in a son, and it's a toxic image I can't live in anymore. But Ladybug..." He glances down at his hands, at his ring. "She made me feel like I was finally a priority to someone."

I don't realize I'm crying until I taste the salt in my mouth. Even though Adrien doesn't know my secret identity, this is how he truly feels about me. This pure, unconditional love. This only makes leaving him so much harder. "Wow, that's beautiful," I whisper, turning my head away as I start sobbing. My shoulders shake and Adrien jumps up and sits beside me. "I'm sorry!" I shout, sitting up to wipe under my eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm such a big baby."

"I didn't mean to make you cry, Marinette." Adrien rubs my lower back.

"No, it-it's fine. It's just..." I take in a deep breath. "The way you described Ladybug was so... heartfelt and romantic and honest. I've never heard anyone talk about someone like that before."

Adrien leans back, his arm dropping around my waist, and I don't even think he realizes. "I say what I mean and that's how I feel about Ladybug. Which is why I'm going to do everything I can to bring her back."

My eyes widen. "W-What?"

"I don't know how, but I'm going to help Ladybug." Adrien stands up, arm raised with confidence. "Paris needs her. I need her. So, I will do everything I can for her."

"But..." I frown, asking, "What if we can't do anything? What if she's done all she could do?"

Adrien smiles at me. "Don't worry, Marinette. Ladybug's very brave and confident. She always finds a solution for everything. I'm sure she's working on something right now."

I wish.