The Choice (a Painful Past)

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     "I guess you'd better ask her that, cuz I don't know," I laughed. "You don't want to ask her for me?" he asked, looking hopeful. "Oh, no way," I laughed. "You guys are over here entirely too much as it is. I'm totally not asking her that." He laughed too, and shrugged. "Hey Will, are you coming or what?" Daniel yelled, then did a backflip with no hands, as soon as we looked his way. "Yeah, yeah, hold your horses," Will yelled back. "Guess I better go," he said, looking back at me. "Yeah, before he riots," I joked, with a small laugh. "Yeah...okay, I'll see you later, Callie," he replied, then waved and started walking towards Daniel. I smiled and shook my head, as I walked inside my home. 

"Hey mom, I'm home," I said, walking up to my amazing angel of a mother and kissing her cheek. She was on the phone, so she just smiled at me. My mom was the only parent I had left. My dad had passed away 6 years before from a heart attack. I was 10 years old. I still remember the pain from that day very well, almost like it had just happened. 

My parents were a lot older when they had me. My mom was 40 and my dad was 45. My dad had just been told that he only had 6 months left to live, because his heart was giving out. My mom told me that she fell off of the exam table, when the doctor told her that she was pregnant, then started to cry while sitting on the floor because she knew she would be raising me alone. Only she didn't. At least, not entirely. My dad lived 11 years after that.  

Maybe that's why I was so different from my brothers and sister. They were all 15 years plus older than me. Well, except for Randy, but he wasn't really my brother. He was my nephew, like Daniel. They were my sister's kids, but my mom took them in when my sister started having some mental health issues. It was strange because Randy was older than me, but I was his aunt. I was an aunt before I was even born. Still weirded me out, when I stopped to think about it. 

My parents were my entire world though. My mom would take me to the fair when I was younger and ride the rides with me, even though they made her nauseous. My dad called me his little princess and treated me as such. No one messed with his little girl, or they paid the price. I was insanely spoiled, never left wanting for too much of anything. 

Which was also strange, because we were what you would call a "welfare family." Both of my parents had worked their entire lives, but they became disabled. So, we had to live off of their government disability checks. They did whatever they needed to do to make sure that I had an amazing Christmas and/or birthday. 

After my dad died, I clung to my mother, like a leech. I didn't want her out of my sight so, when I wasn't in school, I spent every second with her. I kept this up for at least a year, before I finally started hanging out and spending the night with friends. I was a good kid. I didn't back talk or do things that I wasn't supposed to do. Later on, as I grew up, I hid the things that I did do very well, because I couldn't stand to disappoint my mother. I didn't want to hurt her. She had been through enough. 

I went straight to my room and packed a bag to stay at my best friend's house. Katherine, or Kat as I called her, and I had recently been through a very intense fight that lasted about 3 months. We were trying to rebuild our friendship, but it still didn't feel like it had before. There was just too much damage. I was determined to keep trying though. She, along with my first cousin, was the best friend that I had ever had. 

Oddly enough, the fight had originally been between my cousin and I. She had been dating Will, when he told me that he still liked me, over summer break. I probably should've told her straight away, but I didn't. If I'm being totally honest, I enjoyed the feeling of being liked by someone. That attention that I never really got fed my confidence. When she found out, she dumped him and stopped talking to me. 

Kat turned her back on me as well, and started hanging out with Sherri, my cousin, more. Now, Sherri and I were great, closer than ever, but Kat and I...well, it really wasn't the same. It was like we were forcing the friendship. I knew this, but here I was, packing a bag to go stay with her over the weekend. 

I sighed to myself and looked in my dresser mirror. My long, recently dyed, platinum blonde hair hung straight down my back with a few waves thrown in the mix. I had been wanting to get it cut but change scared me. I was terrified that I would look dumb. At least I knew what this style looked like, dumb or not. 

My blue printed t-shirt hung just above the waistband of my jeans. I hated it, because it made me so self conscious, but it was the style. I pulled on the bottom of the shirt, trying to stretch it out a little, but it just snapped right back into place. Ugh. I pinched the skin on my stomach and made a face. I wished that I could just be skinny, like my sister, or even like Kat.