The Choice (a Painful Past)

60

I stayed silent, but it took all I had to just let him continue.

"I know you are always down on yourself. You think that you don't deserve better, but you do. You don't have to be with him, Callie. He's just going to end up hurting you again. He's bad for you. You're changing and you don't even see it. I can see it. If you want me to go, and never speak to you again, then I will. It will hurt so fucking bad, but I'll do it. But, if you want me to stay, then I'll do that too. The ball's in your court here, Cal." He held up his hands, like he was shrugging, then let them fall down by his sides.

I took a shaky breath, then realized that my vision was blurry. I was crying.

Why the fuck was I crying?

"Colby, you've been my actual rock for so long now. Whatever I needed in the moment, you were always exactly that. A friend, a confidant, a clown." He smiled a little at that. "You are my best friend. I'm closer to you than I am to Sherri, and that's saying something. I'm sorry, but I...I don't feel that way about you. I know that I kissed you when Will cheated, and I was drunk, and that probably gave you the wrong idea, but I was just fucked up in the head that night, Colby. I'm so sorry. I don't want to lose your friendship. Not ever. I need you in my life, but you have to go right now. I love Will. You know that. We've been through a lot together, and I can't just throw that away. You don't know why he is the way that he is. He needs me, and I need him too. You have to accept it, if you want us to still be friends. Please." I begged him.

He hung his head and slowly shook it, before looking back up at me.

"I won't ever accept it, Callie. I can't. Even if you aren't with me, I will never give up hope that you will come to your senses one day and see what he is doing to you. I won't ever stop trying to make you see it. So, take it or leave it, but that's all I can give you." He reached up and cupped my cheek in his hand, before swiping his thumb across it, wiping my tears away. "Don't cry, Cal." He whispered.

I gave him a small smile, then reached up and moved his hand away from my face.

"I'm okay." I said, quietly. "I just hate it when people fight. I hate the yelling, the anger, all of it. You know that."

He nodded. "I do and I'm sorry for yelling at you."

"Colby?" A young girl's voice came out of the darkness and I remembered Jen.

"You should go." I whispered.

He glanced over his shoulder to where her voice came from, then back to me.

"She's just a friend." He said.

I shook my head.

"It doesn't matter. You deserve to be with someone who looks at you like she does, Colby. Let me go."

He held my gaze for a moment, then turned and started to walk away.

Then, as if his words were carried to me on the slight breeze, I heard his hushed tone. "I don't think that's possible."

I placed my fingers over my mouth to stifle the cry that threatened to come out. We weren't broken completely, but something had shifted in our relationship tonight. I wasn't sure that it would ever be the same.

I stayed there, by the trampoline, lost inside my thoughts, already missing the bond that had been severed that night.

I was so distracted that I didn't hear when Sherri walked up beside me.

"Callie?" I jumped a little at the sound of her voice.

"Shit." I breathed out. "Yeah?"

"You okay?" She asked.

I shrugged, then made the mistake of looking her in the eyes. I immediately crumbled.

"Oh, Callie." She whispered, as she put her arms around me.

I cried into her shoulder quietly, while she rubbed my back. Eventually, I was able to catch my breath and stifle the tears. I pulled back and wiped my face with the sleeves of my shirt, before I gave her a watery smile.

"Thanks. I needed that." I said.

"You wanna talk about it?" She asked.

I shook my head.

"No. Not tonight. I think I'm gonna go in and go to bed. Thank you for helping out with everyone."

"Yeah, of course. Are you sure that you don't need me to stay with you? Or do you want to leave with me? Will was really mad, Callie. I know this sounds crazy, but...are you safe?"

I nodded. "Yes, I'm safe. He would never hit me, Sherri. I know he yells and acts kinda crazy sometimes, but he's just got some issues. I'm safe. I promise." She looked unsure, so I rolled my eyes. "I wouldn't be with him, if he put his hands on me. You know that. I saw my sister go through too much." I replied.

"Yeah, okay, I guess. Just know that I'm here if you need me, okay? Just a call away." She said.

"I know. Thank you. I love you." I replied, then jokingly pushed her towards Shawn who was waiting by their car.

"Okay, okay, I'm going." She laughed. "Call me tomorrow though, okay?"

I nodded and waved, as she climbed into the car. They were the last ones to leave. As soon as they did, every bit of energy left my body and I had to catch myself, with my hand on the side of the house to keep from falling.

I dragged myself up the steps and into my house, hesitation in my every move. I didn't have it in me to deal with more yelling. I was emotionally drained tonight.

I saw Will sitting on the couch when I walked inside, with anger all over his features. I didn't say anything until I took a seat on one of the recliners.

"Where's Dusty?" I asked, really wanting that buffer between us right now.

"He left. Just like everyone else that you sent home." He replied, stonily, as he glared at me.

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. I was getting a headache.

"Will, the party was over. It was time for them to go." I replied, heavily. "I'm tired. I just want to go to bed."

"Yeah, I bet you're real tired after all that making out you did with your little boyfriend." He replied, with his voice getting louder.

He was drunk. I could see it now.

He stood up and swayed a little, taking a step towards me.

"You're drunk." I said. "He's not my boyfriend and I stopped the kiss. If you heard everything, then you heard that too."