The Choice (a Painful Past)

158 Colby's POV

Even though I was holding a conversation with Sam, Nate, and Shawn, I was hyper aware of Callie sitting next to me. Her thigh was only inches from mine.

I nodded at something that Sam had said, without really hearing him. I couldn't concentrate on anything that anyone was saying, so I would only nod my head or laugh when the others did. I kept stealing glances at Callie out of the corner of my eye.

Since I had first seen her DM to me on Instagram, I couldn't stop thinking about her.

When I first moved to LA, she was on my mind almost daily. I missed her terribly. Sure, Sam was my other half, my brother, but Callie was my first love (even though she didn't return the feeling), and my first real friend.

I tried my best to keep in touch with her and would even go as far as semi stalking her on FaceBook, at first. When I realized that she didn't want to keep in touch with me, I had to start trying to push her from my mind.

It hurt when she didn't return my messages, but what could I do? She had chosen Will, that stupid fucking dickhead, and I had to accept it. So, I started partying a little more, hanging out with more people, and trying to overcome my introverted insecurities.

Eventually, I learned to fake it till I made it. I had come a long way from who I used to be, but that insecure kid was still locked inside of me. I still worried about what others thought of me, especially since I was basically put on display for the world every day of my life. It could be exhausting.

Even though Callie was always in the back of my mind, I had to move on. I started dating girls in LA, and let me tell you, it wasn't easy. The more popular Sam and I got, the more I realized that most of these girls just wanted to date me to be noticed. They wanted the clout.

I did fall in love with someone though. A few years ago, I met a sweet girl that wasn't in the public eye. I met her through my friend Aryia. Her name was Harper.

The relationship started off slow, with us just hanging out together with friends. Slowly, we started getting together on our own, going on hikes, hanging out at the beach, or going out to eat. Soon enough, I realized that I had fallen for her.

I thought that she might have been the one. The more I fell for Harper, the quieter Callie became in my mind. She was still there, just mostly silent.

Sometimes, I would catch myself searching Instagram for her, or getting on my old FaceBook account to see what she was up to. It hurt my heart when she would post pictures of herself. I could see how unhappy she was. Her smile didn't hide a thing.

There was nothing I could do about it though. She had cut me off and moved on with her life. I had to do the same.

Harper and I dated about a year. I was still surprised that I had been able to keep that information off of social media. Usually, the fans would search, like little FBI agents, until they found every detail about every girl that I had ever hung out with.

Then that girl would get torn to pieces online, with hateful, mean comments and messages. It was ridiculous, but I guess that was the price of fame. I wouldn't say I was famous though. Just well known. Maybe one day we would be famous, but not then.

I was happy with Harper. She made me laugh and venture out of my shell.

Until the day that I wanted to surprise her at her place. I had her favorite flowers, a box of her favorite chocolates, chicken noodle soup from our favorite sandwich shop, and her favorite movie. I didn't really like to watch movies, but I didn't mind with Harper.

It gave me the chance to just hold her and watch her reactions while she watched.

Sadly, things didn't happen like that. I used my key, because she told me that she was sick, and I didn't want her to have to get up just to let me in.

I heard the sounds first. I couldn't register what I was hearing though. Maybe my brain just didn't want to comprehend it.

Either way, I followed the sounds to her bedroom and that's when it clicked. The sounds of another man with her. That's what I was hearing.

I swung the bedroom door open wide, without knocking. What I saw punched me in the stomach so hard, that I couldn't breathe. Harper, who was on top of this other man, jumped off of him and snatched the sheet up to cover herself.

"What the fuck, dude?!" The guy exclaimed.

I recognized that voice. I glanced over to see one of my so called friends just lying on my girlfriend's bed, not even trying to hide his nakedness.

"Colby! What are you doing here? This isn't what it looks like!" Harper cried out.

My heart felt as if each beat was trying to rip itself out of my body. I dropped everything in my hands, including the bag of soup. It spilled everywhere when it hit the ground, but I didn't care.

Hurt, betrayal, and anger were spilling out of me, just like the soup on the floor.

"I think it's exactly what it looks like." I said, angrily. "I brought you soup because you said you were sick. I hope you both enjoy it."

Instead of fighting with Eric (the naked guy) or Harper, I just turned on my heel and sped out of the apartment. I didn't allow myself to cry over her. I didn't cry. That's not who I was.

Since that day, I hadn't allowed another girl to get close enough for them to hurt me. I was always the one to hurt them.

When I noticed that I was getting to close to one, I would tell them that it wasn't a good idea to get serious and that I wanted to date other people. I slept around, just because I could. I thrived in the LA lifestyle that I had chosen, but deep down, I still craved someone who understood me.

Someone who I could be happy with and someone that wouldn't hurt me. Someone who thought I was worth the trouble. There was a time or two, when I thought that I had found that someone in a few close friends.

Unfortunately, I started to get jealous if they hung out with other guys or didn't call me when they said they would. I knew it was my insecurities, but it was like I couldn't help myself. So, I would break it off, or they would break it off.

It was an ugly, vicious cycle that I couldn't escape. I wasn't even sure that I wanted to escape it. I didn't want to open myself up to be hurt like that ever again.

So, while I had a lot of 'buddies' that I would hang out with, or sleep with when I wanted to, I never let it get serious.

When I saw that message from Callie, my dead heart started to beat again. I hadn't realized how much I had missed her. It wasn't like a romantic kind of love though.

It was missing one of my best friends. Callie would always mean a great deal to me.

When she told me that she had finally gotten rid of Will, I thanked God for it.