The Choice (a Painful Past)

27

He climbed up and lay beside me, then slid his hand down next to mine. His warm skin sent shivers through me, when his fingers laced with mine.

"I didn't mean to get so upset, Cal. I really didn't. I'm sorry. I've been in love with you for so long, that I got scared that one of those other guys that you know would steal you away from me. I know you've never really liked me, so I'm always scared that you'll remember that and leave me." He didn't look at me, as he professed those feelings.

It hurt my heart that he thought that, even though he was right. I had never liked him like this, or even been attracted to him. I was now though.

I was quiet for a moment, taking in the sharpness of his jaw, and the curve of his lips. His hazel eyes were dark in the light of the stars, but I could see how nervous he was. I rolled towards him, and lay my head on his chest.

"I didn't like you, in this way, before. You're right...but that was before I gave you a chance. You won me over, Will. Your sweet words, and your soft touches. I don't like you now. I love you. Those other guys, they don't matter. They never really did. Not in this way. They will always be just friends. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." I leaned up and hovered over him, so that I could look down into his beautiful eyes. "As for being attracted to you...well," I let my words hang in the air, as I leaned down and pressed my lips against his.

I lightly pressed my tongue against his bottom lip, asking to deepen the kiss. He opened to me, and lightly grazed my bottom lip with his teeth. I shivered in the night air.

My body started to buzz, lighting my skin on fire with need. A familiar stirring in my belly flamed up, so I moved my body, while still keeping our lips connected, and straddled him. His hands came up circling my waist, and his fingers dug into my skin.

The thought of him touching my fat rolls and how I was probably too heavy to be on top of him popped into my mind. I tried to shove them away, but they only moved  back, still there, taunting me. So, I ignored them the best that I could.

I moaned slightly, against his lips, when his hands cupped my breasts, over my bra. He massaged them, while his tongue warred with mine. Then, I felt one of those hands snake around to my back, following the line of my bra.

Before I knew it, he snapped it open with one hand, then found my naked breasts, all in one moment. I gasped against his lips, surprised by his forwardness. I mean, it wasn't like we hadn't already done these things, but I was in my yard, where my mother could walk out at any time.

I pulled back from him, and gently pushed his hands away from my chest.

"Hey, no. We can't do that stuff here. Not where my mom can catch us." I said, quietly.

He looked annoyed, as he blew a deep breath out.

"You're the one that climbed on top of me, Callie, not the other way around."

He was right. I had initiated and deepened what was going on. He had just been talking to me.

I climbed off of him and sat down on the trampoline.

"I know. I'm sorry. I just wanted you to see that I am very attracted to you." I replied.

He stared at me for a moment, and I couldn't tell if he was upset or not. Then, a smile broke out on his cute face.

"Really?" He asked.

I smiled and nodded.

"Really."

"I'm happy about that." He responded. "I just don't like knowing that you're hanging out with these other guys, when I know they like you, or either you really liked them." I started to deny that, but he held up his hand, silencing me. "Don't deny it, Cal. I heard you and Sherri talking about it, the last time she came over. About how Kat had done Derek so wrong, and how you would've never done that to him. How you wished that John would just make a move already. I KNOW you liked them. Hell, maybe you still do and I'm just fooling myself here. I just don't like you being around them. I'm sorry, but that's how I feel. And Katherine is a whore. I know she's your friend, but I can't figure out why! She's such an uppity bitch, who thinks she is better than everyone else. Did you know she laughed at me when I asked her if she wanted to go swimming at the lake one day? Just laughed right in my face! Stupid cunt." I winced at his harsh words.

I knew that Katherine had changed from who she was, and that he was right. She did act like she thought she was better than some people now. She could be a total bitch and I could totally see her laughing at Will...but...

"When did you ask her out?" I asked, disregarding everything that he had said about her.

"Huh?" He asked, looking at me with confusion. "Oh, I don't know. Like a couple of months ago, or something."

"Before we were dating...or during?" I knew that question would probably piss him off, but I needed to know.

As soon as his eyes narrowed, I knew his anger was coming out.

"Really, Cal? Really? How am I always the bad guy? I'm starting to think you're crazy or something! I'm trying to talk to you about these people that you're hanging out with, and you somehow turn it around on me! How does that happen? If I'm always the bad guy, then why did you even want to get back together?"

"Would you stop being so loud, please?!" I begged him.

His voice had raised so much, I kept looking at the door for my mother to come see what was going on.

"I don't think you're the bad guy. I just wanted to know when you asked her. We weren't serious when we first started seeing each other, so it's not a big deal. I was just curious. Damn, you have got to calm down." I replied, breathlessly.

"Then, stop asking me dumb ass questions." He replied, stonily.

I didn't realize until way later that night that he had never answered my question. I pushed it out of my mind and let it go. It wasn't really all that important anyway.

Days started to pass by in a blur, filled with Will. Our loving moments, our fights, all of it.

Before I knew it, 3 months had passed.