The Choice (a Painful Past)

139

"Hey, do you still partake?" Sam asked, as he pulled out a fat blunt.

"Ugghhh." I groaned, looking at it. "Sam, I can't. We are literally at a kid's birthday party. My kid's birthday party."

He grinned and put it back in his pocket. "You know, they're probably somewhere, behind a building or something, partaking in their own party favors. You know we were at their age."

I put my hands over both of my ears and shook my head. "Nope. I refuse to believe that. Ben will never smoke anything or do anything bad. He's my angel." This granted me another round of laughter, that I had to join in on. "Okay, so that's probably not true, but he is a really good kid. I don't think he's doing anything like that. Not yet anyway. I guess we'll know when they come back around us. Y'all know all we gotta do is check those eyes and that smell is undeniable." I said, as I looked back up at the moon.

"Speaking of," Sam replied, as he nodded at something in front of him.

I looked over and saw Ben and his friends walking back towards us, from the darkness of the park. I checked my phone and saw that it was almost midnight. Damn, these parents had really let their kids stay at this crazy party for that long.

I watched as all of the kids, except Xander and one of the girls, walked over to their parents.

This started the 'thank you for having us' and 'goodbyes' again.

I tried to keep my eye on Ben and this pretty, young girl, but it was hard. He kept moving out of my lane of vision. When everyone else had cleared out, I saw them walk back into view.

Ben had a smug little smile on his face, and the girl had a dreamy look in her eyes. Shit. I was about 90% certain that they had just had a rather impressionable goodbye kiss.

Was I ready for that? Nope. Wasn't gonna think about it. Not yet.

I didn't smell anything unusual on any of the kids, as they thanked me for the party and said how much fun they had. I knew that I was being hypocritical, but I didn't want that life for him. If he wanted to smoke weed, then I wanted him to wait until he was at least 25.

That was when the brain stopped developing, so there wouldn't be any lasting effects from him partaking in that activity. It was time to have another talk with him about a lot of things. I could see that...but not tonight.

Exhaustion hit my body, like some sort of other worldly force, after everyone was gone. The only ones left were me, Denise, Bryon, Sam, Colby, Ben, and Xander.

I yawned, hugely, and covered my mouth, as my eyes watered from exhaustion.

"Wow, excuse me." I said. "I think my age is showing. This party has worn me out."

"Really?" Colby laughed. "You're like two years older than us. I think you've gotten too used to that 'mom' lifestyle."

I grinned and nodded. "Probably. That's my life. I never do anything, like going out, and I'm usually in  bed by 11 pm every night. Up at 6, to start the same day over again." I shrugged, knowing that my life must sound pathetic to them, the guys that traveled the world, bungee jumped off bridges, and tried to find ghosts all the time.

"Hey, Mom!" Ben called out, from where he stood with Xander a few feet away.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Xan is staying with Ms. Denise tonight. Can I go spend the night with him? If it's okay with Ms. Denise, I mean."

Denise looked at me and shrugged, letting me know that she didn't mind. I sighed and nodded. I was hoping that we could try to watch a movie together, before the night ended.

I was so tired that I probably wouldn't finish it anyway.

"Yeah, bud, that's fine. Just be good and remember your manners, please."

A giant grin spread across his boyishly rugged face. He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, squeezing me in a tight hug.

"Thank you for the party. It was amazing. I love you." He said quietly.

I smiled and ruffled his hair, like I used to do when he was shorter than me.

"I love you too." I replied, as he pulled back. "Have fun."

"I will." He responded, before he and Xander climbed into the backseat of Denise's car.

"Well, I think they're trying to tell us that it's time to leave." She laughed.

"I think so." I replied. "I still need to clean up this place, before I can leave, but you guys go ahead."

"No way, I forgot about the cleanup part. They can wait a little longer." She replied, shaking her head.

"No, it's fine. Really. It'll give me a little time to quiet my brain, before the drive home." I responded.

She looked at me for a second, trying to read my eyes.

"Are you sure?" She asked. "It won't take long. The kids can wait another few minutes."

"Denise, get the fuck out of here." I laughed, shoving her towards her car. "Thank you, but I've got it."

"We'll help." Colby spoke up.

I had almost forgotten that he and Sam were even there. My brain was really haywire tonight. My anxiety was up, making it jumbled and sporadic.

"See, they'll help. It's fine." I told her.

"Okay then. If you're sure." She replied.

"I'm sure." I groaned. "Leave. Go have an amazing night telling the boys to shut up with all the yelling and rough housing."

She rolled her eyes and smiled. "Yeah, an amazing night. Okay, I'll see you later. Call me tomorrow...when you get a chance."

She glanced at Colby, who was standing right behind me, then back to me. I saw the suggestiveness in her glance and glared at her.

"No." I mouthed, silently.

Nothing was going to happen with us. He was my friend. I had already told her that a million times, but she just wouldn't stop the teasing.

"I'll call you. Now, go home." I replied.

"I'm going, I'm going." She laughed. "It was nice to meet you guys. Thanks for reaching out to me and giving Ben that surprise. You guys are really something. I hope we see you again, before you leave." She waved at Sam and Colby, while Bryon shook their hands.

It was weird seeing my past life and my present life all meshed together, in front of me. I gave her and Bryon a hug, opened the door to my kid, gave him one last hug, then watched them drive away.

"Guess it's time to tackle the mess." I half-heartedly laughed. "Thanks for sticking around to help out."

"Yeah, of course." Colby said.

They followed me back inside the building, where Sam started some music up. The big speakers were no longer there, because Bryon had packed them up, along with the fog machine that I had borrowed from Denise. It still had internal speakers though, so we could still listen to some music.

He cranked up the volume, then we all started cleaning. I yanked the streamers down from the ceiling and started thinking about how amazing the night had been. Ben, and his friends, would be talking about this one for a while.