The Choice (a Painful Past)

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Comfortable, mesmerizing, and safe.

We both held on for a few more moments, before I slowly let go and pulled back.

"Thank you." I said, shyly.

He cleared his throat and nodded.

"Yeah, no problem. You just overlooked it, because you were getting too anxious."

"I tend to do that." I laughed.

I checked my phone, only to see that there were no texts or missed calls. Damn. That was new.

"I guess they didn't need me today." I replied.

I scrunched my face up, thinking about how that made me feel. It was unusual.

On one hand, I was able to have a relaxing day, without being constantly worried or bothered. On the other, I didn't like not feeling needed, because it was the only part of my identity that I understood.

"That's a good thing, isn't it?" He asked, before he tossed a chocolate into his mouth.

"Yeah, I guess so." I murmured.

"Why didn't that sound like a yes?" He chuckled.

I looked up, smiled, and shrugged.

"I don't know. I guess I'm so used to being needed, that I don't know what to do, if I'm not."

He wiped his hands off on his jeans, stood, then held his hand out to me. I took it and let him help me stand.

"You have fun, dummy." He whispered, once I was on my feet.

I gasped, as he started to pick me up. Instantly, I became dead weight and let myself collapse back onto the ground. He stood above me, with a look of shock on his face.

"What the fuck was that?" He asked.

"Um," I giggled, nervously. "I don't like to be picked up." I stood and brushed my hands off, too embarrassed to face him.

"Well. Okay, then. Scared the shit out of me, though. I thought you passed out or something." He replied, gently.

"No. Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. It's like a reflex, unless you catch me off guard. I just don't like it." I murmured.

I finally got the courage to look up and meet his gaze, hoping that he wasn't angry with me.

Will used to get so pissed off when I did that to him.

I remembered him yelling at me "Oh my God, Callie, will you STOP fucking doing that?! I don't care if you weigh more than me! You're so fucking annoying!"

All I saw in Colby's eyes was confusion and something that I couldn't place. Like he was searching my eyes, to see if he could find the answers he wanted.

"It's getting late." I said, noticing the golden sun starting to set over the horizon. "We still need to go buy your alcohol, right? They close early on Sunday."

I started to pack everything back into the cooler, praying that I hadn't ruined the evening too.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Hell, I even forgot that it was Sunday. Good thing it's not a dry town anymore, huh?" He replied.

I could tell that he was trying to lift my mood, or cover what had just happened, but it sounded slightly off. Shit. I really did mess everything up.

Why couldn't I just be normal and not worry about my weight? I had been this way for so long, it was just a part of me now. I would never be normal.

I sighed, quietly, and handed him a few things to put into the cooler. When the blanket was cleared, I started to fold it back up. Once I had it zipped, I threw it over my shoulder, with my purse, and turned towards Colby, who was picking up the cooler.

"Ready?" He asked, grinning at me.

The smile seemed genuine...but I was sure that he was faking it, just to be nice.

"Yeah." I replied, smiling back.

We walked back to the car in silence, put the things in the trunk, then headed towards the liquor store, 15 minutes away. Colby played some music from his playlist, so I lay my head back and closed my eyes. Some of the songs were ones that I really liked, while others were way too heavy for me, but I listened to each of them, trying to decipher the lyrics on the ones that I couldn't understand.

I guess getting high and being in the hot sun was too much for me, because I felt myself drifting in and out of sleep.

"Callie." I heard Colby whisper, as he patted my leg.

"5 more minutes." I groaned.

He laughed gently, so I opened my eyes to see his smile.

"Don't you wanna go pick out something to drink?" He asked.

I yawned and stretched my arms as much as I could in the small car.

"Not really. I don't drink, so I don't care what you get." I replied. "I'll go in with you though. Do you have your ID? They might card you."

We climbed out of the car, as he laughed. "I always have my ID, because I know that I still look 17."

I shook my head, as I walked through the store door that he opened for me. "Nah, you don't look anything like you did when you were 17, Brock. The only thing that's the same is the smile." I replied.

He smiled hugely, making it almost grotesque in how exaggerated he made it.

"This smile?" He asked, between his clenched teeth.

I laughed, as we walked side by side, to the back of the store, where the liquor was.

"Yup, that's it exactly. Bet it has the girls dropping to their knees."

His mouth fell open in pretend shock. "Why, Callista, what a filthy mouth you have!" He exclaimed.

I was confused for about a second, before I realized that my phrase had an alternate meaning.

"You fucking perv!" I laughed, as I elbowed him in the side.

"Ow! You said it, not me!" He replied, as he rubbed his ribs.

"Big baby." I cooed at him. "Does he need a kiss for his boo boo?" I was only kidding, just like we used to do when we were kids.

The actual thought of kissing his 'boo boo' didn't even cross my mind...until I saw his blue eyes darken and he caught his bottom lip between his teeth.

Then, kissing his body seemed to be the only thing that I could think about. Shit.

I turned away quickly, before he could somehow tell what I was thinking, and stepped over to the vodka shelf.

As I was looking at all the different flavors, the door chimed, letting us know that someone else had entered the store. On reflex, my eyes darted toward the front of the store, right before my stomach fell out of my ass.

"No, no, no." I whispered.

Will and his fiancé, Kelly, had just walked through those doors, hand in hand. I did not want to face him tonight. As ridiculous as it was, I still loved him, and it still hurt me to see him with her.

It was getting easier, but I wasn't sure that it would ever go away.

I hurried back over to Colby's side, so that my back was facing the front of the store. Maybe they wouldn't notice me at all. I could only hope.

"I'm thinking about getting this. What do you think?" Colby asked me, completely unaware that I was freaking out.

I didn't even look to see what he had. I just nodded and snuck a quick glance over my shoulder.

"Yeah, that's probably good." I replied, turning back to him.

Will was only a few feet away from us but facing the side wall. I didn't think he had seen me yet.