Chapter 39

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Padgett Knight

I accepted him. All of his twisted ways. I loved him. With all the demons he carried, with all the bad qualities he was filled with.

There was no denying nor did I want to deny this anymore. It was irresistible and he knew that eventually I would give in. And I did. There was guilt. Guilt and anger that I let that happen but the euphoric feeling of being loved by someone that too so badly, covered the guilt leaving me to see only the good side.

These walls no longer suffocated me, his presence, his touch no longer made me disgusted. All these things were beautiful to me.

All those people who were against us, all those who thought I did wrong didn't matter to me anymore. He did. And the fact that I loved him, made me fear no one. Maybe him. But no that much.

I couldn't help but find the good in him everytime, the burning sensation of when he touched me, I wanted more of it. Even the burning he gave me felt good.

I was currently washing my face getting ready to be in the dining hall downstairs. Sebestian went to his study to resume his work, while I laid on the bed for a good 2-3 hours just thinking how could this happen.

Now that I look at myself in the mirror I feel a glow coming from my face. Maybe it was due to the pregnancy, however, I was having a headache and a slight fever. These were the few symptoms the doctor warned me about.

I walked down the hallways, to the dining hall, just the thought of dinner made my stomach grumble with hunger. I felt a bit hazy but ignored it thinking it's normal during pregnancy. I may have accepted of loving Sebestian but I still wasn't over the fact that he killed Mason, and others which included his own father. I also wasn't over the fact that I hadn't told him about the baby yet.

I sighed when I reached those tall, and huge double-doors which led to the dining hall. I opened them hoping everything will turn out just fine, also because I believe that I had enough drama for today.

I was greeted with silence, Sebestian wasn't there but I was a dissapointed. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get rid of the dizziness which cane along the headache and fever. I urgently need rest, but I know that dinner is important, because skipping lunch didn't help me and my baby.

I knew I didn't look fine and I tried my best to make myself presentable because I didn't want anyone especially Sebestian to figure out. I started my dinner when Sebestian entered, I tried to steady my breathing which was heavy when I heard his footsteps because it made me nervous.

"Hey." He said and kissed me before sitting on his chair and sarting his dinner.

"Hey..." I replied back, no matter how much I tried to sound fine, my voice came out as whisper. My movements were slow and tired. To add on, the smell of food made me nauseous and I didn't wish to eat it.

"Are you alright?" He said truly concerned, while I smiled a bit and nodded.

His face clearly told me that he didn't accept what I said and knew it was a lie. So before he could say anything further I stood up from my chair,

"Excuse me." I silently said and intended to walk away, avoiding the much predicted questionnaire conducted by my husband.

"Padgett wait! Are you sure you're alright? You're eating less than usual. Do you think we need to consult a doctor?" He said as he held my hand and stood infront of me.

I was pale on hearing 'doctor', I didn't really pay attention to rest of his sentence but I just felt numb and all the colours of my face went away flying the moment he said something about consulting a doctor.

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