Laurel

2:11 Laurel

I had marked Sky. I stared at the neat crescent moon shape made with tiny pin pricks that didn't look anything like my teeth, on his neck in awe. I had no idea I could do that. Trying to figure out my magic, and what I could and could not do like this was giving me terrible flashbacks when I got my first period and thought I was dying because my religious mother didn't know how to talk to me about it. Whose response was to just hand me a box of pads saying it's normal, once a month or you're a slut, waving to send me on my way to figure it out. Which was still somehow better than the message I eventually got at school a few years later that said it was dirty and shameful, something to be hidden. Going so far as to tell us it should be uncomfortable or even painful for women. Then that was it. Never discussed again. I had hated it. If it was human and natural then it should be normal to talk about it.

I desperately wished there was someone I could talk to, who had gone through something like what was happening to me. Someone who could help me even a little bit. This was feeling very much like a second puberty, but with magic this time. I had not enjoyed puberty the first time, this repeat was sometimes a nightmare groundhog day.

But then, I could feel his emotions bubbling around in my mind, separate from my own, coloring my own feelings as well now. It was... Strange to say the least. I thought the necklace bond with Damon was comparable to a mate bond; but these feelings were stronger, had more depth. I felt in my bones that with enough time I could learn to read each subtle shift in mood, tone and feeling in my mind and know everything he felt as clearly as if he had spoken aloud to me. This was standing next to a volcano after only having a campfire before. This was burning passion for someone, that went to my core. I liked this feeling, I wanted to bask in it like a lizard on a sunwarmed rock.

I still felt love for Damon. He had been so kind to me. He had helped me when I needed him. He had been thoughtful, generous, and nothing but a perfect gentleman to me. I wondered if I would be able to mark him now, if something had really shifted in me when I traveled here. Hope that, that was how it would be, fueled me, made me work harder, push myself to be faster, stronger.

I wished I could talk to Damon or Delia, I had so many questions. All this magic stuff was too new to me. I wasn't ready for something like this. This is why we had left to vacation alone. So I could avoid everything and anyone I could hurt while I got a handle on my own magic and I donno, the general rules to being a magical person in the modern world. Now I had been away from any protective influence for maybe all of two weeks and I accidentally claimed someone.

Fuck. This is how teenagers without sex ed or decent internet access get pregnant and have no idea how. I am the magical equivalent of a religious homeschooled kid going to university alone and having no idea about anything. I remembered seeing those kids on campus, getting dropped off by their parents and picked up after class every single day, getting a few short hours a day away from their protective bubble and trying to blend in with the student body. Or desperately trying to hook up. I currently felt like I was the latter I had been wonton when I propositioned Sky, I could feel whatever it was inside me needing to feed, needing more than just solo sexual action to keep me charged.

Thank whatever deity is responsible for this that Sky took everything extremely well. I tried so hard to not rush him, to let him consent to everything. I was trying to do the right thing. then I just took all his choice away. I was so glad I could feel how truely content and even happy he was through the bond. I didn't want to think about what would have happened if he rejected me after I claimed him. Whatever I was, it did not seem to like thinking of rejection very much. I just wanted to be peaceful, and live a happy life full of love. I would have to be more careful going forward. Can't have another accident like this happening. I can be a clear headed, logical woman, get back to Damon and where I belong.