Laurel

2:28 Laurel

I was frustrated. It seemed like every time I got close to learning something new, getting an answer to the million questions I had, something else came up. I had thought that if someone claiming to be my father had a residence for me, then they must be around, that I would be able to learn something about where I had come from. Instead I have a bigger mystery of how someone arranged this house three hundred years before I was born, and then managed to maintain it without being seen, and even more impressive, update the home until I had walked into a fantasy from my wildest dreams.

I had dreamed of living in a big house, of having a kitchen almost exactly like the one downstairs, the playroom was perfect for bringing every naughty, kinky, twisted scene I had ever fantasized about to life. Even the garden featured all my favorite flowers prominently. I had never shared these dreams with anyone. Not ever, I didn't even keep a journal where they could have been found by someone. How on earth could someone I had never met, had no idea who they were, know so much about me? Things no one knows.

Auris was leading me by the hand like a child trailing behind him. He kept looking at me, concern heavy in his eyes. "I'm ok Auris, really. I just let myself hope for some real answers." I looked at my feet as we went down the stairs to the garden path, "I should be used to nothing going like I hope by now though I guess." I knew I sounded pitiful. But that was how I felt right now.

"I'm sorry we didn't get the answers you wanted, Mistress." He sounded so sincere, as he gave my hand one more comforting squeeze. "Can I do anything for you?"

"This walk is nice, Thank you." I let the sunshine and fresh air wash over me. I still wasn't used to the strange sky, or the unfamiliar scents that came on the breeze. But here in the garden with my eyes closed, my nose filled with the smell of lavender and apple blossoms, I could pretend for a few moments that everything was fine. Things were normal. Being with Auris was becoming more and more comforting. He still felt unbalanced sometimes, but he was steadily getting better. I understood him much more now, thanks to Basalt being more honest with me, with all of us.

We walked hand in hand through the garden, I sometimes closed my eyes to better pretend I was back at Delia's house, walking through the gardens there, that I had only ever seen through the windows. Trusting that Auris wouldn't let me stumble. I leaned my head into his shoulder, the urge to claim him was growing stronger, it wasn't ignorable anymore. I knew if I didn't act on it soon it would start to hurt me to keep lying to myself that I didn't want him, that he wasn't worthy.

I don't know how long we walked, but I felt better, the frustration and disappointment melting away like snow under spring sunshine. I wasn't any closer to answers, but I was safe, loved and no further behind at least. Forcefully optimistic, that was the best way to get through life, look for places where things were still ok. Where there was good. No matter how dark a night is there is light somewhere.

We sat down on a beautifully carved bench, it felt like it had been made from stone, but looked like ivy and wicker had been twisted and turned together to make the most beautiful, wild looking bench that blended into the lush gardens around us. He watched my eyes and started to speak gently, "Alchemy was used to turn living vines and wood to stone for these benches, in fact..."

"Auris, did you mean to hurt people?" I blurted it out. Interrupting him. This was the last question I needed an answer to, before I could give in to my desires with him.

"Never, I didn't know my own strength at first and didn't have anyone to teach me..." He looked ashamed of himself. I leaned my body even more into his on the bench until there was no space between us, my hand on his thigh, head on his shoulder. "I was horrified every time I realized they had stopped breathing, I tried to help them, I did. But I was stupid and ignorant, I..."