Chapter 36: It was always you: Part 3:

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~Chapter Song: Before You Go, Lewis Capaldi~


"Ready?", Harry asked me, before we left the house.

Time to face the truth, I guess.

"No."

"You have to talk to him at some point. The faster, the better."

"I know. I'm just not sure what to say."

He looked at me with a small smile. "He truly loves you."

I couldn't say anything without tears gathering in my eyes again, so I simply nodded. I stayed silent for a few long moments and then said, "You know, Ella loves you too."

"About that...", he started.

"What?", I hissed.

"We kissed at the party the other day. I'm pretty sure we are dating now."

I raised my hands, "Finally. My prayers were heard."

He chuckled a bit, "You prayed for this?"

"Oh, yes. Every day for the past three years you've been knowing her. Why didn't you tell me yesterday?"

"You seemed preoccupied with your own problems."

"I am my own worst enemy, aren't I?"

He laughed.

"Wait. Do you love her?"

He blushed a bit, "I don't know.". But he did. It was clear, from the way he blushed when I mentioned her name. The way his eyes shined when he talked about her.

"We really are twins, aren't we?"

"Yeah, we are.", he gave me a hug.


I was outside the school with my backpack and everything, still being a chicken. I didn't want to face him. I didn't want to go in there and have my friends asking me if I'm okay because I'm pretty sure I wasn't.

Why was I so upset if it was all fake? The answer to this question scared the shit out of me. Because loving someone, meant that there was a chance to lose them. And I was afraid of that very loss and heartbreak.

I gathered my pieces and walked in. Christine, Ben, and Mark were sitting in our usual spot.

"Hey Winter.", Christine said, while I sat next to her.

She just hugged me and whispered, "We missed you."

And that was it. No other questions or pep talks; nothing. My friends knew me a lot better than I thought because they gave me exactly what I needed.

Everything to be normal.

"What did I miss?"

"Christine's boyfriend is officially official.", Ben said.

I turned to Christine; my jaw dropped open.

"The dinner.", I muttered, and she nodded, a smile lit her face, "You did it. Why didn't you call me?"

"You were a bit... preoccupied."

"Right."

Guilty. That is exactly how I felt. I had put my entire life on hold, to lock myself in my room and cry, but that was enough. I needed to be the friend that Christine and Ben were.

"So, what happened?"

"Well, he came to my place. A complete gentleman. I am talking about a suit and comped hair and flowers for me and my mum, and chocolates. He did everything right. Of course, my parents completely freaked out and kicked him out. I told them I would leave the house and stay with him if they didn't accept that I'm a teenager and I want to spend my teenage years with the person I love, without having to sneak behind their backs for the rest of my life. Obviously, they didn't listen at all, so I packed a bag, left through my bedroom window, and texted David to come and get me. I slept at his place for a night, making my parents reach the limit of things they could handle. By the time I was awake they had found David's address and paid us a visit. With a few settlements, we agreed on me having a boyfriend, a curfew at twelve, and nothing more than a peck. The last one we've already broken, most recently by making out with him the night before. And after. But... other than that, everything is... okay.", she said in one breath, but the smile didn't erase from her face for a moment.

"Wow.", was the only thing I could say.

"Yeah. Life seems like a movie isn't it?"

"Tell me about it.", I mumbled, "How did our lives turn to this? Christine always thought she wouldn't have a boyfriend until she graduated. I thought I would never have one, period, and Ben lived with the idea of having flings until he is eighty. And look at us now."

We laughed.

It was true, even in the small department of our lives called love life, what we expected, was far different than reality. As much as you plan your life ahead, it would never turn out exactly the way you expected.

"I don't understand anything in this book. Why is physics part of the school lessons?", Ben talked-cried, raising the physics textbook in the air. We had a physics test today, and Ben did not enjoy science, as much as I did.

"Um, because it explains how everything works? Because it helps us figure out, our past and future. Because it makes our lives easier?", Christine took the initiative to answer.

"That's my girl.", I shouted and gave her a high-five.

"Easy for you two to say. You just get science. You are those two little geniuses that study only to the minimum and get the higher score of the entire class."

"You are gonna do great, babe", Mark said next to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. And Ben finally chilled down a bit.

I grabbed the book from his hand, "Tell me what questions you have."

And like that, we were back to the usual.

But it still didn't feel the same.

We got in the class, the moment our physics teacher, was handing the test. Still no sign of Cameron.

Five minutes, he appeared at the door.

My breath stuck a bit when our stares met. I broke eye contact and looked at the test.

"You know, he didn't come to school yesterday either.", Ben whispered behind me.

"I know, he came to my place yesterday morning.", I said back, and Ben left a small gasp.

"Oh Mr. Diaz, nice of you to join us. Ready for the test?", the horrible person that had the title of our teacher, said to him. Man, I hated him. He once tried to convince me to drop out of the robotics club, because it was men's business.

Cameron didn't answer, but he turned to me, and I knew he had forgotten about the test. He sat down anyway, but I could still see his shake.

His leg was bouncing.

His chest was rising at uneven times.

I whispered his name, trying to get his attention.

He didn't hear me at first, his stare was stuck on the papers. By the third time, he looked at me.

His eyes wide opened. He was shaking his head, whispering "I can't do this Winter."

I motioned him to take deep breaths, trying to tell him to do it with me. He tried at first, but he kept losing focus, with the teacher and the paper.

"Eyes on the tests", the teacher said, noticing me and Cameron, "or I'll give you both a zero."

That was the last drop. Cameron rushed out of the class, and I didn't need to think about it twice before I followed him.

I'm pretty sure the teacher was shouting for us to get back to class, but I didn't bother. I could deal with him later. Now I could only focus on one thing.

Cameron.

~~~

A/N:

Two chapters left!

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