𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐚𝐲 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐌𝐞

𝟑𝟐.

Mike Wheeler

"So, are you gonna tell me why you've been avoiding me the whole night?" I ask as we both settle down on the top of a sleet-covered hill, granting us access to the distant view of the lively lamp-lit festival below. Will sits in a semi-supine laying position on the damp grass, meanwhile I sit beside him, leaning back against the palms of my hands.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Will slurps some of the flavoured shaved ice through a paper straw, visibly shivering from it. I know that he's lying.

"You've barely spoken to me at all today, well- the past few days actually. What's wrong?"

I need him to understand that I have to know what's wrong so I can help. He doesn't understand that he shouldn't have to keep all of his feelings bottled up, especially not around me.

"I know, it's just-" he starts, trying to find the correct words, but instead just sighs. "Nothing. I'm being stupid."

"No you're not." I shake my head in disagreement. "I don't care how you feel, and your reasoning for it is never gonna be invalid to me, okay? Tell me what's bothering you." I smile gently and Will hesitantly returns it before lowering his gaze to the ground.

"Do you ever... blame yourself for what happened to Troy?" He asks. I take a sip of my slushy and slope a brow.

Where is this coming from?

"I mean... yeah. Of course, I blew him off, ghosted him and basically just downright abandoned him." I exhale deeply. "...Why?"

"It's just that... I feel like I ruined everything that you two had. You were such good friends and all of that ended when you found out he didn't like me. It's like... why do you care so much if I'm being mistreated by one person? It definitely wasn't necessary and all it did was... fuck everything up." He explains, slightly catching me off guard when he swears - something I've never heard him do. I open my mouth to argue but nothing comes out when he continues to speak. "And now... I guess I just feel guilty for still being your friend. It's almost as if I'm rubbing it in his face that you practically replaced him with me."

Oh that makes lots of sense-

I meet his gaze, and his eyes are welling up.

"I get it but... all of this is my fault, okay? I chose you over him for a reason. He was a total asshole and you didn't deserve for him to continuously terrorise you. Of course I was going to stop, Will, I care about you... sure, he deserved so much more than to die, but I don't regret becoming your friend. And I want you to feel that way too." It's true. I don't want him to feel like our whole friendship was a mistake just because of the unfortunate circumstances.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." I assure him.

"I mean yeah- I-I guess... but just generally, don't you think that things have been a little... weird?"

Definitely.

"What do you mean, weird?" I squint my eyes, an idea of what he's referring to crossing my mind, but I can't really make it out.

"Never mind... not weird." He chuckles softly as if what he said was dumb, which it wasn't. "Like... I don't know- I guess I've just been feeling awkward around you lately, don't you feel that way too?"

I can think of millions of reasons as to why that's true.

"Sorry- that came out wrong." Will facepalms himself. "I'm not saying that I feel uncomfortable around you but like... it's as if our friendship is drifting apart, don't you think?"