Welcome to Your Last Race (Street Racers #3)

1. Taehyung

On my 27th birthday, I feel like a child again. A part of me is silently going back in time, analyzing all of my birthdays along the years, though not too meticulously. A comforting comparison of this day to all those before.

A few hours ago I found out I'd be in the Japan Race this race. Not alone. I'm in the team with all of my people. Jungkook and Yeeun, and Wooshik – who'd bought a spot in it without telling anyone. In a month, one of us might become... a star. That's what you are if you outrace everyone in the race in Tokyo.

I don't think much about it tonight, when the four of us hang out because of my birthday. We'd be hanging out anyways, so the only difference, really, is the intention behind it. I enjoy my – ours, in a way – gift, without trying to plan ahead for it. It's not something you can really prepare for. I already feel ready.

The past is what I think about instead. Whichever year I come back to, there's something I'm grateful for. Breaking free from the impossible to fulfill goal, from the cycle of trying to satisfy my family when I was already who I wanted to be. Making peace with myself. I hated a lot of people throughout my life, but I was always at the top of the cursed list, even if I realized it late.

I don't think my life is complicated, or going according to the blueprint of a successful life. Not the weird one a lot of people preach. But it is a successful life regardless. I don't need more to be happy, but I've always been curious where the limits of having are. How much is too much? There must be a line somewhere, a line I haven't reached, yet. I'm at this safe point. Enough, not lacking, not having too much. The 'it could be worse, it could be better' point.

Next month, I will have a chance to test the limits.

An illegal street race, a few rounds over the course of a few days, eliminating racers not good enough to win, one by one. Racers from all over the world. The guy who organizes it bribes the city's cops every year so they don't interfere. Everyone knows the race is happening. No one ever stops it, because thanks to it, the economy flourishes. It's all made to look legal, except that it's not legal at all. Not my concern, though.

The winner of the Japan Race steps up a level. Everyone wants to win it, just to be talked about. For the past three years, the races were exciting, but not madly exhilarating. We all watched the livestreams, we saw the winners, but except for the win on their account, they weren't memorable. Not crazy enough. I could be that. I know I could be. And where would it take me?

I don't know that, and it's a wrong kind of itch. Not knowing rarely becomes an issue for me. If I don't, I don't and I move on, or I find out. I can't move on from that. I haven't been racing my whole life to not know how far it can take me.

"We should make an entrance," Jungkook says. We sit on the floor, around the table, eating fried chicken. "We totally have chances to win, people who race know us already."

"An entrance?" Wooshik asks.

"You know. Best cars, act like it's our race, all that-"

Yeeun gasps into her glass of beer. "I'm gonna bleach my hair," she says.

"You should go for a Barbie vibe," Wooshik says, and her jaw slowly drops. "I knew you'd like the idea."

She's already scrambling off the floor. "I'm gonna be back for a shopping spree."

"Thanks, we're about to go bankrupt," Jungkook says and bites into a chicken leg.

"It'll pay off," Wooshik says, (un)usually confident.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I have an idea," he says. Of course. One of the spontaneous ideas of Wooshik. "You'll see when I work it out."

I like how the four of us are molding together, besides the obvious – me and Wooshik, Jungkook and Yeeun. We all fit together, one way or another. They all brought back my faith in the thing called 'family'.

The three of us pile around Yeeun, watching her buy the Barbiest clothes of all time. Many shades of pink take over. Some white pieces, colorful pieces, blue pieces, denim pieces. Dresses and skirts, funny high heels, cute bags. Jungkook is delighted. He believes this is the best style Yeeun could have ever tried, and she's tried a lot. I remember her always trying out different styles through school, especially middle.

"Didn't you have an emo phase?" I ask.

Yeeun looks at me petrified. Jungkook is laughing.

"Never speak of that time again, Kim Taehyung," Yeeun says.

"Does someone have pictures?" Wooshik asks.

"I. I do," says Jungkook, with an expression of a satisfied little shit. They are on two sides of the couch, and they shake hands above Yeeun's laptop. She slaps Jungkook's hand away.

"Don't be a dick."

"This deserves to be shared," Jungkook says.

"Share it and I'll share your location with the cops next time you're going 300 km/h."

"Make sure I'm not behind him," I say.

Jungkook slips off the couch. "Good thing I'm not scared of a challenge," he says, dashing to their bedroom.

Yeeun sigh. "Cheater!"

Wooshik and I go home at two, carefully bringing our sleeping poodle with us. I'm second in bed, face in the pillow, ready to fall asleep. But then I think about the whole 'idea' Wooshik has, because I'm almost certain I know what is on his mind.

"One fine day you mentioned starting a business," I say. "And you wanna do it with Yeeun, don't you?"

He watches me with a grin. "How did you figure it out from what I said earlier alone?"

"I'm your soulmate. Of course I know what you're thinking about. I don't know. It makes sense to me. You'd get bored doing it alone, and you're practically best friends with her, and you also said it would pay off, your idea earlier. I guessed."

"I'm thinking about it," he says. "And I do have an idea, but I'm not telling you. Only when it works out."

"You don't have to work, you know?"

"It's not for the sake of working or money. I just feel like doing it. Don't worry. I can't be another co-owner of your business forever, come on."

Everyone wants to grow. Does anyone ever reach full satisfaction with what they have or is there always more? Is it possible to be both satisfied and wanting more? If not, I'm lying to myself every time I say that what I have is enough.

I drag myself closer, throw my arm and leg over him, and close my eyes. This will always be more than enough. "Do as you wish. I support everything you do."

"What if I rob a bank?"

"I'll help you. Yeeun, obviously. Yoongi, too. And Jungkook. And we become criminals if you wish."

"I'll keep that in mind."