Welcome to Your Last Race (Street Racers #3)

11. Taehyung

It's a new feeling to be nervous while I stand in front of the door to Yeeun and Jungkook's apartment. I do wanna be here and I absolutely fucking don't. Of course I care about them, and I want to know how Jungkook is doing, and we're better than whatever I've been pulling off since the night he got hurt.

But I constantly remember what I've told him. And then I start wondering when all of this will go to shit again. And I don't wanna see them again – not because I don't actually want to, but because I won't survive losing them again.

I want to believe it's impossible, but who can give me this kind of guarantee? No one knows. I might lose everything any second. Any second. Any second. Any second. Holding onto what I have and constantly wondering how much time I have left, it's tiring. And heartbreaking.

I finally knock, after debating over this for ten minutes, and the door opens immediately. Yeeun lifts her eyebrows. "You were meditating here or what?"

"You knew I was here."

"I was trying to see how long it would take you." She chuckles and lets me in. "You're not a public enemy in this place, Taehyung. Relax." I want to say that I know, but I feel like I'm the enemy. Of some sort. I don't know what I'm fighting, but I feel like I am the bad guy. "Come on." Yeeun grabs my wrist. "We just got food."

When I am dragged into the kitchen, Jungkook is already busy eating fried chicken. He looks weak, but more put together than that night.

"I told you to wait!" Yeeun scolds.

"I'm hungry!" He whines and immediately waves his hand at me. "Sit down. We've got enough for, like, four people." When I don't move – because I fucking can't – he pauses. Then there's a chuckle. "What?"

"Taehyung thinks you're mad," Yeeun says, taking one of the four chairs at the kitchen island.

Jungkook grins. "I'm not, and it takes a hell lot more to get rid of me." He waves again. "Sit down and tell me about the race last night. Yeeun didn't want to tell me anything without you."

It takes me a moment, but I finally sit and start talking. I talk about last night with every detail – what people were saying, that Yeeun kicked ass, that Wooshik won and made up with Sue, that I met Sue, that Jiho was a step away from ending Hyoshin then and there, that Hyoshin agreed to the 'no violence' deal.

"They made up? So I shouldn't be mean to her anymore?" Yeeun asks.

"She wants to meet all of us," I say. "And she's fine. Hyoshin played her into doing this."

"So he fucking did it deliberately." Jungkook huffs. "As soon as my arm doesn't hurt, I wanna put my fist down his throat."

"That violates the 'no violence' rule," Yeeun notices.

"I never agreed to it," he says. "And if I punch him outside of the race, he can't tell me anything."

"Didn't you have enough of getting hurt?" I say, for the first time feeling... at ease today. Like it's actually alright, even if it's fucking not, because that goddamn night hangs over us. or me. So you'd be fine if I'd died tonight. If it helped me win.

Nothing means more to me than my people.

So why are you still here? Still fighting Hyoshin, trying to win?

I don't care if I win. I can't let him act like he can tell me what to do.

Then quit trying to be famous.

I'm not trying.

You didn't tell Wooshik to keep the race lowkey. It's in your control.

It's not. I can't decide how many people will get to know me.