Welcome to Your Last Race (Street Racers #3)

seventeen years ago

For a ten-year-old Taehyung, his seventeen-year-old cousin was the king of the world. Whenever Taehyung sat on the passenger's seat of Sanghoon's Honda, and Sanghoon took him on the wildest car rides, Taehyung felt free. He saw a getaway in Sanghoon, the only time he could feel happy, without worrying about anything.

Taehyung was always going to be like his cousin. He was going to sit in the driver's seat one day, when his feet would reach the pedals, and he'd race through the world. He'd drive so fast nothing bad could keep up with him. Taehyung couldn't wait to be able to drive, to run away from everything that was hurting him.

🏁

"My legs are long enough! Come on!" Fifteen-year-old Taehyung followed his cousin around the car. Twenty-two-year-old Sanghoon laughed, running away with the keys. "One drive! No one will know!"

Sanghoon stopped, but he moved his hand up. Taehyung hadn't grown tall enough yet. "Only if you listen to me and slow down when I tell you to."

"I will. You know I will. I promise."

On a straight road between two forests leading to nowhere, Taehyung sat behind the wheel for the first time. It took him four trials to get it right. Sanghoon watched him come alive. He knew how Taehyung's home life was. That's why he always left the door open for Taehyung. Whether Taehyung wanted to drive with him, watch him fix cars, nap on his couch, he was always available for Taehyung. Especially now, when Yoongi was no longer around.

Even if Taehyung didn't know it yet, Sanghoon knew it was going to be his whole life. Behind the wheel would be Taehyung's most comfortable and most confident. Sanghoon knew no racer would be able to meet Taehyung and not race him. It'd be an honor to win and lose against his little cousin.

So he let him behind the wheel. When Taehyung was fifteen, then when he was sixteen. Whenever Taehyung wanted, which was every day. Sanghoon asked for a raise at work so he could afford daily stops at the gas station. When Taehyung was sixteen, Sanghoon got him a well-working car and a fake driver's license. Sixteen year old Taehyung was tall enough not to be too suspicious behind the wheel.

Taehyung couldn't get enough. He went to every race Sanghoon was in, he watched, sometimes he sat on the passenger's seat. He wasn't ready to race dudes five or six years older than him, but when he watched, he was only here and now. He was in his world, his element. He was harboring experiences and memories he'd come back to every night, when the rest of his life was too heavy to deal with.

🏁

"Can I go into this race with you?" Taehyung asked Sanghoon one day.

Taehyung wouldn't admit it out loud, he wasn't sentimental, but Sanghoon made him believe in the concept of family. Taehyung never cared enough about it. His brother was kicked out, his other brother hated his guts, just like his parents.

Family was a fairy-tale to Taehyung, but he had his cousin to make up for it. Sanghoon cared, accepted Taehyung as he was, listened, helped. Sanghoon showed him racing, and that for Taehyung meant the world. Without knowing, Sanghoon gave him a reason to stay alive.

When Taehyung was sixteen, for the first time he believed he could have more than survival in his shit family. In this world. His life could be better. So much better. He could actually have more, be happier, be successful, do things he loved.

"You could, but I want to show you something," Sanghoon said, closing the hood of his car. "Watch, because I wanna teach you this later."

"What is it?" Taehyung asked, excited enough to stay and watch. He saw a brighter future in racing, so he soaked in everything about it. Whatever his cousin showed him, Taehyung absorbed and swore he'd never let it go to waste. It would save his life many times in the future.

"You'll see, close to the finishing line. So watch carefully."

Taehyung had never watched a race as carefully as that night. And he'd never regretted being attentive as much as after that night.

He stood with Sanghoon's friends. All of them froze when Sanghoon's black BMW, going at least 120 km/h, crashed into the car in front of him. Whoever drove it slammed on the brakes. The front of the BMW smashed like a can of soda, the windshield shattered and Sanghoon rolled meters ahead.

He didn't stand up. He didn't move. Taehyung would never find out what Sanghoon wanted to show him. He'd never talk to him again. Sanghoon was gone. Taehyung was hopeless. It was his fault. A punishment for being greedy. He should have been happy with what he had. Instead, he wanted more, and all he'd had was taken away.

🏁

Taehyung was eighteen when he started working. He was eighteen when he opened the car repair shop, and had Sanghoon's friends tell everyone about it. They were so happy for him. Taehyung couldn't find it in himself to feel happiness, but he was relieved. This place was going to be his getaway. His home. His, and his only.

He was nineteen when he started earning crazy money. He worked non-stop, and he worked every day, and he worked fast, and he did everything as well as it was possible. People kept coming back, new people kept calling. Taehyung was becoming the youngest, most skilled, most affordable and the fastest mechanic in the neighborhood. No, in the city.

The money he earned, it'd be enough for an apartment. A place of his own. At least to rent. He saved them all in an envelope under the mattress of his bed, in his room, in the house he hated. He was going to look at the possible apartments next week, when the money disappeared.

All of it. Everything he'd saved. Everything was gone.

He knew. He shouted at Hyun, then at his mother and father. He wanted them to admit they stole it – no one else could. They wouldn't tell the truth. But he knew after looking at Hyun's face.

Taehyung was stuck in a constant loop. Wanting more, wanting better, getting so close to it he'd tremble with excitement, and suddenly having it all torn out of his hands. Out of reach. There was no point thinking about it anymore. Was he cursed to stay miserable? Was it even possible to have more? Was he greedy? Was he still so greedy he had to lose everything?

How many times would it repeat until Taehyung stopped trying to have more, trying to be happier? How many times could he be stripped of everything he had, had cared about?