5 Years Too Late **Edited 2024** Complete

Chapter 17 : Decisions

Toby
2 days till the wedding.

I spent yesterday with Spencer. I explained to her how I feel.

She was surpassingly understanding but that could've just been on the outside.

I told her I need to take Yvonne to the wedding.

I felt bad I mean, Yvonne is doing me a favour by not telling her parents and not having me deal with that back lash, she's allowing me a minute to breathe, and I mean Spencer knows everyone at the wedding and Yvonne was invited because she's my plus one, I have to still take her.

Plus I have been talking to her but I haven't really seen her since I left.

I'm kind of ashamed.

Okay not kind of.

I am ashamed.

It's so frustrating that I love them both.

I just don't know who owns my heart more.

Realistically I'd say Spencer because I mean, I cheated. And I hate that word but I did. I cheated, and would I really cheat if I wanted to be with Yvonne?

So then I picture life with Spencer and it's great and familiar but it has fights, it has hurt and it makes me wonder about getting into a big fight where she tells me to go again and I have no one. And I tossed Yvonne away for nothing.

I know fights are normal, everyone fights. My issue is if it's something big and she doesn't want me anymore.

Our issue involved commitment and yes she was only 19, but still. If it happens again. Then what?

From: Spence👫🏻
Hey, can you come over?
The girls are having a play date at Em's.
If you have plans with her though it's okay.

To: Spence👫🏻
Yeah sure, I'll be there in about 20

I hate how awkward our texts are now.

I hate how my emotions are ruining everything.

From: Yv💕
Hey hun, was just checking in with you,
wanted to make sure there's no changes to your plus one 😅
If there is I understand.
Love you and miss you!

God the timing on these messages are insane.

To: Yv💕
Hey! No changes! Don't have to worry about that 😊
I love and miss you too Yv.

I do miss her, I do love her. Is it enough though?

Hanna, Caleb and Tyler are out for dinner with their parents. They invited me to tag along but I wouldn't want to impose and also, I'm not really in a state to make small talk the way I'm feeling.

I drive over to Spencer's, stopping for coffee along the way.

Why do I feel so nervous?

Spencer

I nervously wait for Toby.

This all feels so weird. So wrong yet I can't leave him alone.

I hear a car door slam and I jump from the couch,

I rush to the door and open it quickly