5 Years Too Late **Edited 2024** Complete

Opener

Spencer

5 years.

5 years later and we never talked once.

Who would've thought that one mistake would end us?

I know I was the one who snapped, but I freaked out. And once things were said it was hard to take it back.

I remember it all like it was yesterday

~~~~~Flashback~~~~

I exit the washroom, Toby still sitting on the chair by my desk, stirring his coffee but never taking a sip.

I sit on the bed, pushing myself against the wall bringing my knees up to my chest.

We sit in silence for what seems like years.

The entire day had been awkward which completely sucks because we were having an amazing week. The was until three days ago I started feeling queasy. I thought it was food poisoning then maybe a 24 hour bug and then I remembered last month.

He had time off from work and I just finished midterms. I had some down time and blew off a few classes to go exploring with him and just spend time with him.

Since I moved to D.C for school and he stayed in Rosewood it's been a lot harder to see each other. We still talk daily and because we were friends first keeping that alive was easy. But being intimate was and that's what failed us here.

He and I took advantage of anytime we had alone and got intimate but there were maybe three times where protection wasn't used and well now today we are sitting here waiting to see if we are lucky enough to get away free or our lives will change now forever.

"How long does this take?" he asks, breaking the silence

"Three minutes, it said on the package"I reply

He takes a sip of coffee, finishing it and putting the empty cup on my desk before speaking up again.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

I look down at my bed "talk about what?"

He shrugs "what we're gonna do if..." he pauses

I shake my head "Toby I'm a sophomore okay? I'm having a hard enough time juggling exams"

"I know" he nods

"And you don't even live here" I point out

"I know but I, I could apply for a transfer"he mumbles and I scoff

"And what, you wanna move into my dorm room?"

"You don't have to say it like that"

"Like what?" I question

"Like living together would be such a horrible thing"

"In this context, it would be"I pause "I'm sorry but it would"I state as I rub my legs

"You're talking about this like it would ruin our lives. I mean isn't this what we were planning for? Eventually?"

"I-I don't know. I mean.....I don't know. I haven't really thought that far ahead. I haven't even made up my mind yet about grad school"

I know it's harsh but in the end it's not the right time.

I have loved Toby for years and I can't see my life without him but we are still young. I'm 19, he's 21. Our lives have just started.