Saved Me

✨ c h a p t e r t w e n t y e i g h t ✨

Somehow, Annalise was able to force us to go to a party. She claimed it would distract me of my problems and give Jay an excuse to loosen up. I didn't feel like arguing with her so I went with the program.

The person throwing the party was Jack Rivera, a kid who graduated with us. He was known for throwing massive parties. He was also a drug dealer, hence why everyone went to his parties. How he hasn't been caught was beyond me. The ironic part of this is that his parents both work for the judicial system: his mom was a lawyer, his father a cop.

Annalise absolutely refused to let me not dress up. She had changed into a short black, backless dress that clung to her curves. It accentuated her perfectly long legs. Her makeup was done perfectly, as always. I didn't dare look at Jay knowing he was probably thinking thoughts I don't want to hear. He was dressed in a simple black button down shirt and dark jeans as he texted someone on his phone.

Annalise had forced me into a red, strapless dress with two cutouts on the sides. It was short, but not too short. I didn't mind being a bit showy, after all, it's my body. My scars were faint. But as I stared at myself in the mirror, I came to the realization that I no longer cared. I don't care if people saw them. I don't care if I got judged for being a cutter. I don't care if they were ugly. My scars are mine. Only I can judge them. I don't need anyone else's input unless I ask for them. Annalise also did my makeup, enhancing my features perfectly.

For once in my life, I felt beautiful.

"Let's go?" I asked my two best friends.

We piled into my car. Annalise gave me the directions as I drove. I chose to drive so in case I needed to get away, I didn't have to go searching for them to get the keys. The party was in full swing when we arrived. There were red solo cups laying on the ground, people lingering outside, and some doing god knows what in the shade. We made our way into the kitchen, grabbing fresh drinks. I could feel people's gaze on me. It was unnerving but I pushed away my feelings. I came here to get rid of my problems for a while. I saw a few familiar faces but I didn't greet them, nor did they greet me.

I spent a while just hanging out by myself. I almost went to smoke a joint ─ almost. I've done it before but I wasn't a pothead or anything. I did it for the sensations. I know for a fact that getting high right this moment wasn't the smartest thing to do.

I felt my phone vibrate against my chest (I usually keep my phone in my bra when I wear a dress). Annalise and Jay were talking, smiles on their faces. I looked at the notifications, unsurprised. It was another text from Roman. I felt a strong urge to hear his voice. I wasn't sure if I should push the thought away because the next thing I knew, I was calling him. I made my way outside where I was away from all the noise.

"Abigail." He sounded breathless, almost as if he was running. The sound of his voice sent chills down my spine and ignited a fire in my lower stomach. My heart clenched tightly, nearly knocking out all the air in my system.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I said, the words coming out of my mouth without even registering in my head. "I shouldn't have ran Roman and I'm so sorry. I love you. I just ─ it was impulsive. I...I miss you so much and I know I'm rambling but holy shit. I didn't realize how much I really missed you until I heard your voice. God I just-"

"I want to say I love you too," he interrupted. My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. My pulse began racing and I felt the tears brimming. "Turn."

"What?"

"Turn around." I froze in my spot.

No, I can't see him say he doesn't love me.

"Abby. I came all the way here to see you," he murmured. I no longer needed the phone to hear him. I could feel his presence behind me. I didn't dare turn around because I knew I would break. "The least you can do is look at me when you say it." I stood still. I couldn't. I didn't want to hear him say he doesn't want anything to do with me.

I saw his shadow approach me. I didn't turn around ─ I couldn't. His arms wrapped around my waist from behind, pulling me to his chest. His head dug into my shoulder. "Turn around baby."

"Please don't make this any harder that it is," I whispered. I couldn't speak any louder in fear of bursting out crying. He squeezed me gently, his breath fanning my neck.

"Please baby," he murmured.

I let out a shaky breath, swallowing inaudibly. My fingertips dug into the skin of my palm as I turned around.

His beautiful electric blue eyes looked tired. He had bags underneath his eyes, showing the lack of sleep he's had. His jaw was covered in stubble; he had a hint of a mustache. His tongue peeped out of his mouth and swiped against his lower lip. I tore my eyes away from his lips.

"You left me," he stated. I bit the inside of my cheek, glancing up at the sky to keep the tears away. "You left without saying goodbye. You didn't even leave me a note, let alone reply to all the text messages or phone calls I sent you. You didn't reply to anyone other than your aunt. Do you realize how hard I tried to find you ─ how everyone tried to find you? Do you realize how scared everyone was? Do you realize that people were worried for you, Abby? Do you know that people love you?"

"Rome–"

"No Abby, stop. I need you to just listen, please. I know that your mentality is different than mine. I know you don't think the way I do. I understand that you don't. I don't understand how you think or why, but I can try to Abby. I can try if you would just let me in. You warned me that you'll push me away, I know. But baby, I need for you to know that I'm not leaving your side. I want to help you. I want to be the person you go to when you need someone. I ─ fuck, Abbs ─ I love you."

I don't know who made the first move, but we were kissing.

My fingers tangled in his hair while his hands roamed my body. His lips moved against mine fiercely. There was nothing romantic about this kiss: it was full of pain, desperation, and need for each other. He held me close to his body, leaving absolutely no space.

I pulled away first. He held me tightly as we tried to catch our breath. His forehead rested on top of mine as he cupped both my cheeks, wiping my tears.

"I love you," he murmured, repeatedly kissing my lips.

"I love you," I replied through each kiss.

"I promise, Abby," he whispered, caressing my cheek, "I'll take care of you to the best of my ability."

And for once, I didn't doubt that.

A/N: three chapters in one day because I'm very impatient when it comes to uploading chapters (even if it's my own book).

stay strong xo