Saved Me

✨ c h a p t e r t h i r t y o n e ✨

Everything fell back into place shortly afterwards. Roman and I always hung out but I always made time for everyone else. We went back to Albany the next week for my parents' anniversary. Our friends came with us too; they also met Jay, Ella, and Annalise. Everyone got along quite well.

Some of my family members and family friends came back to my house for lunch after the service. I had no choice but to go around and mingle. When I finished speaking to all the guests, I headed to the kitchen for a glass of water. I took slow sips as I stared out the window. For a moment I could imagine my parents sitting at the table, talking about the news or gossiping about people from church. I swear they gossip more than two old ladies.

"How are you feeling?" Jay asked as he came to stand next to me. I've gotten the same question from absolutely everyone I talked to today. I shrugged, tearing my eyes away from the window.

Jay never knew my parents, unlike Annalise. I only met him after their death.

"Numb, I guess," I murmured, going over to the sink to rinse my glass. I set it on the dish rack as I faced him. "It feels weird to have everyone here but not them."

"I could only imagine." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, rubbing my arm. "I know it's hard, but you'll get through this."

I smiled up at him. "Thanks Jay."

"Anything for you."

We stood there for a while in silence until Roman walked in. I smiled at him. His hair was messy considering he kept running his fingers through his hair. He was wearing khaki pants and a navy blue button down shirt that was tucked in.

"I'm gonna go check on Ella, she should be waking up soon," Jay said. He had put her down for a nap a couple of hours ago.

I nodded. "Alright."

Roman walked over, wrapping his arms around my waist. "How do you feel?" I almost chuckled at the repeated question.

"I'm okay," I murmured, cupping his cheek with my left hand.

He leaned forward, pressing his lips onto mine. "I love you."

"I love you," I whispered. He kissed my forehead before leading me back towards the living room. He went and sat with our friends while I walked over to my Aunt Rachel, my dad's sister. She was the exact, female replica of my dad. She had matching dark brown hair and eyes. They were both on the taller side. She towered over me by a couple of inches. Her eyes were red and teary as she looked at the picture frame. It was the one from my parent's tenth wedding anniversary.

When she saw me coming, she gave me a weak smile. "Hi Aunty," I said, hugging her waist.

"Hi baby," she murmured, resting her cheek on the top of my head. She sniffled softly before letting out a deep sigh. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm alright," I murmured. "What about you?"

"I'll manage," she said. We pulled away but stood close to each other.

A few moments later, Aunt Leah appeared. After my parents' death, both, Aunt Leah and Aunt Rachel became close. My parents' family didn't really associate. I mean, they came to all our parties and mingled and such, but they were never as close as they are now. After sharing a loss, or at least sharing the same feeling for their losses, brought them together.

As Aunt Leah and Aunt Rachel began talking, I began making my way over to Annalise, Maggie, and Anna; but I was stopped.

After the last time I saw my grandmother, I never thought she'd be the one to confront me. As I looked at her, I realized how exhausted she looked. Her eyes were bloodshot and her nose was red. She let out a soft breath before looking at me. "I'm sorry," she said.

I don't know what about those two words made me break down, but within a matter of seconds, I was clutching my grandmother as we both cried.

"I'm sorry, Gram," I said, hugging her tightly. "For everything. It was my fault."

"No, Abigail, don't say that," she told me. "I shouldn't have blamed you. You didn't do anything sweetheart, it's not your fault."

"But if I hadn't begged them to take me, none of this would have happened," I argued. She shook her head, wiping my tears away.

"Honey, you don't know when someone dies. If they weren't in the accident, who knows how or when they die. We're lucky enough to still have you."

For a moment, neither of us said anything. We stood there, my head resting on her shoulder as she rubbed my back. "I love you Abigail," she said.

"I love you too Gram."

Eventually people began to leave. The house was emptied by the time it hit six.

I was currently in my living room with all my friends. They all insisted we have a sleepover at my house. My aunt and uncle stayed here as well; they took the guest room. I kept my parents' room locked the whole day because I didn't feel like leaving it open. It was, in a way, sacred to me. We were currently scattered around on the floor, debating on what movie to. I sat on Roman's lap as they chose. As always, we watched with amused expressions. My back was pressed against his chest as he held me. His chin rested on my shoulder, his fingers tracing patterns on my arm.

The all finally agreed on The Interview with Seth Rogen and James Franco. We kept choosing movie after movie until we began to nod off. In a matter of hours, I was the last one awake. I slowly pried myself away from Roman and stepped over everyone. I turned the TV and lights off as I made my way upstairs. I went into my room to grab the key and came back to my parents' room. I unlocked the door and closed it behind me. I went over to the side table flicked the light on, letting out a sigh.

I crawled into the bed, going underneath the covers. I clutched their rings tightly, kissing it.

"I love you Pops, Mumma."

I sat there in bed for a few minutes, just staring into space as I thought about everything and anything.

Someone knocked on my door, opening it slowly.

"Can I come in?" Annalise asked. I smiled softly, nodding. She crawled into bed with me, sitting down next to me. I rested my head on her shoulder. "You don't seem as depressed anymore."

"Is that a good thing?" I murmured.

"Of course Abby," she said, hugging me tightly. "I'm happy for that. Before you left, it was so hard to see you that way. You were like a walking zombie. I know you were putting up a front in front of other people, but I know you like that back of my hand. I wish I knew how to help you but I'm glad you're doing better. There's more...life in you. Although I'm kind of jealous you've made more friends, I'm happy you did. You needed a different environment and I can tell it's helped you."

"I love you Lise," I murmured.

"I love you too Abbs," she responded.

A/N: I'm actually very excited to announce that I've finally completed the story on google docs. I usually write all my stories on google docs so I have a saved copy in case something happens. But yeah, I'm not sure how quickly I'll upload, but like I said, if you comment saying you want me to upload, I will. I'm not like other people who get annoyed when people comment asking to update. But there's only eight more chapters left!

stay strong xo