Catch Fire (Luke Hemmings Fanfiction)

Play Date

LOU'S POV: Play Date – Melanie Martinez

"I don't give a fuck about you anyways, whoever said I gave a shit about you

You never share your toys or communicate, I guess I'm just a play date to you

You know I give a fuck about you every day, guess it's time that I tell you the truth

If I share my toys will you let me stay, don't wanna leave this play date with you"

I have no real way of knowing if the guys follow my instructions during the time I'm in the studio, but every time I get home, the apartment is quiet and the boys are either sleeping or playing some guitar in their rooms.

I spend most of my time with Ashton and Calum and we listen to soft music and have conversations about everything and nothing, while we can hear Mike playing video games in his room. Luke will often join him, but since I never hear him say anything I can only guess that he's there for the cuddles and not the games.

Not that I spend much time thinking about it. Cause I don't. Okay maybe I do, so what? It's not my fault that he's been distant as fuck since his break down. Or maybe he isn't distant, maybe it's just the same as usual, but I was expecting more after that moment of weakness. I don't know, but it's gnawing at me all the same and I wish something would happen to disturb it.

Maybe I shouldn't have spoken so soon. Because when he does disturb the silence, it isn't anything pleasant. I'm in Ashton's room and we're talking about what the worst meme so far was this year when he barges inside.

"What do you mean you used to be anorexic?" He asks, somewhat frantically.

The words are a punch to my stomach, and I feel the blood leave my cheeks.

"How...how do you know that?" I manage to croak out.

"I watched some old vlogs of yours with Mike—anyway, not the point. Is that why you eat next to nothing? Are you still..." He falters, and suddenly his anger dissipates and I can see the worry hiding underneath it.

"Luke," I say, not unkindly, "the video you're talking about explains how I recovered from ED. I'm not sick anymore, and it's not because I don't eat the same things as you that I'm not eating enough. I'm healthy, okay?"

He sends me a dubious glance before frowning, suddenly turning to face Ashton.

"You aren't surprised about this?"

Ashton sends me an awkward glance and I sigh.

"He knew, I told him about it."

"You—what? When?"

I shrug.

"Like, a month ago?"

I immediately realize it was the wrong thing to say when his eyes widen, something flashing in the blue depths, but it's gone again too quickly for me to identify. And then the corners of his mouth turn down.

"So you told Ashton a month ago, but you never thought to mention it to the rest of us. Were you ever gonna tell me?"

"Why would I?" I exclaim, at a loss. "Look, I get that it's a scary thing, trust me I've experienced it first hand, I know, but it's in my past now! There's nothing you can do about it, it doesn't affect me anymore, why the hell should I tell you?"

His jaw clenches as he stares at me, gaze unyielding.

"You didn't think anyone but Ashton would care?"