Merlin One Shots

Pop Tarts and Carrots

A/N: A bit of a crack drabble

Setting: Modern times

Description: Merlin really wants Pop Tarts.

Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or it's characters

"Oh my gosh, they have Pop Tarts!" Merlin squealed loudly, running down the cereal aisle to a colorful section. Arthur stared at Merlin as he continued to gaze in awe at the selection in front of him. He turned and stared at Arthur ecstatically. "Pop Tarts, Arthur!"

"I see you've put aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public." Arthur muttered, glaring at the stupidly-staring shoppers, oblivious to his irritation. Merlin ignored him and went back to staring at the shelves. "Glad to see not much has changed in all these years."

       "Arthur, there are so many choices. How do I choose?"

"Merlin, you're a twelve-hundred-year-old warlock, I highly doubt deciding a pastry flavor should be the ultimate weakness to your– What are you doing?"

"I cannot possibly decide between all of these decisions, Arthur." Merlin replied as if he was the stupid one. "So I'm taking every single flavor!" Arthur gave him a you-can't-be-serious-and-how-didn't-I-see-this-coming look. "What?" Merlin paused with another armload of boxes he was about to drop in the cart.

"Merlin, there are twenty-five different flavors, each box has six in it, and they cost three-dollars and thirty-six cents apiece." Arthur paused, adding in his head for a second."I am not buying you one-hundred-fifty toaster pastries for eighty-four dollars. Choose three boxes and be done with it."

"But Arthur!" Merlin whined, making Arthur wonder how the man had managed to survive for so long since the fall of Camelot, when the warlock was clearly barely a child in mind.

"Enough. I am going to get what we need to feed myself and Guinevere for the rest of the week while we figure out what to do with the herd of unicorns you brought with you." Long story, don't ask. "If you haven't chosen your three choices by the time I am checking out, then you're not getting any." With that, Arthur turned away from the pouting child and went about his business.

➿➿➿➿➿

Later when Arthur met a glum Merlin by the checkout line he saw that instead of carrying three boxes of the acclaimed Pop Tarts as ordered, he was hauling a cart full of every single carrot product on shelves, no doubt. When Merlin saw Arthur's widened eyes, he shrugged his shoulder and muttered about the unicorns needing treats because the grass at Arthur's was poorly cared for and their health was more important than Merlin's happiness anyway so what were they waiting for? They should go check out.

The carrot bill rang up to be two-hundred-three dollars and sixty-three cents.

Arthur should have just bought Merlin the pastries.