Dark mind

The Past

Juniper POV

I coudin't believe it. There was no way in hell....
I coudin't breathe. I was hyperventilating. This cannot be happening.
The world started spinning, I started shaking so bad.
"-I assure you it will never happen again, Principal Decker" Mom said as she walked in. She had her back to me, staring at something outside the window above the sink. She nodded, listening.
"I understand that, but Juniper has been under a lot of pressure lately. We have been trying to figure some things out and, even though that does not justify her actions, you may want to simply consider it." She said through clenched teeth.

"Mom..." I said weakly. Black spots appeard in my vision. I grip the kitchen counter, hissing in pain as my head felt like it was exploding, my body shaked violently. I felt like I was slowly going insane, a feeling so horrible that It cannot be explained. I winced and that made my mom finally turn around.

"Baby what's wrong?" She asked moving towards me.
At that moment I felt my eyes roll to the back of my head and I fell to the floor. I felt myself convulsing, I was having yet another seizure.

"JUNIPER!" was the last thing I heard when darkness swallowed me.
'Oh how I hate the dark.' Was my last thought.
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I woke up to find myself in my room.
Black walls with neon yellow star's, my queen sized bed with black sheets, an NY yellow skyline design at the bottom, my night stand beside, my huge closet next to my door, my gray fluffy rug on my wooden floor, my black and yellow curtain, my window from where I could see almost the whole block.
The door opened and mom walked in, a plate in her hands with her famous (and my favorite) home made cinnamon rolls.
She put the plate on my nightstand and sat on the edge of my bed. I tried to sit up but mom pushed me gently back.
"Juniper dont, you need to rest." She said and I looked deeply into her chocolate brown eyes, wondering what had happened. My memory was fuzzy, I coudint remember.

As if answering my silent question, she said "You got home, you went to the kitchen and you had a seizure."

I nodded, regaining my memory.
"Mom, I saw your computer, is it true?" I asked.

She sighed and said three words that made my blood run cold.
"Yes it is"

I raked my hands through my hair.
"Mom, how's that even possible? I can't remember...." I trailed off.

Mom wiped the hair from my forehead.
"Juniper, I don't exactly know how to tell you this." She suddenly looked old. My mom's name was Claire and I looked exactly like her, minus the red hair and brown eyes, that was from my dad.

I know, very weird combo. My dad and I used to joke it was because we were aliens.

"Mother, talk to me." I said calmly.
She took a deep breath.

"Juniper you missed out years of your life"
I blinked one, two, three times?

I gave her a confused look.
"What do you mean?"

"Your father and I took you to a psychologist when you were about 12 or 13 years old. She talked with you for a while, asking you questions of your childhood. Do you remember that? "

I nodded and sat up in my bed. The doctor was really nice but she asked me a lot of questions. When she finished with me, she spoke for about 30 minutes with my parents. I remember being so bored, I started counting every line in the room.

"Well, she told us, based on the questions, that.." I waited patiently for her to tell me and when she did, I wished I hadn't even known in the first place.

"Juniper, you made yourself forget 3, 4 or even 5 years of your life. The doctor coudint tell us a certain number but she was certain it was plenty.
You may remember bits and pieces, but the majority is all forgotten. " She told me.

I raked my hands through my hair, something I do when Im really stressed if you haven't noticed.
"It cant be..." I murmured but deep down I knew it was the truth.
I remember nothing of my 7th birthday party, the time wen I was 8 that I fell down the stairs, wen we went camping in the summer just after I had turned 7 and I remembered almost nothing of when I was 6, that's the most blurred out year I have, the one where I start to wonder what I did but come out with a blank.

I knew these things because mom had told me and I'd seen pictures. But me, myself ? I coudint remember anything, absolutely nothing.
"And my brother? What about him?" I asked her, on the verge of tears.

"Your father and I had two kids, we had a boy first then we had you. You two got along so well. You were best friends, partners in crime. Your brother loved you so but so much, Juniper, you have no idea." She said with teary eyes as she wiped the teas that were falling down my cheeks without my permission.

"He would play with you, be with you 24/7, he spoiled you so much." I laughed a bit.
"You were his entire world."

"What happened to him?" I asked.

Mom sighed "Wen you were 6 and he was 16, we went to a cabin in the woods, near a river. The day after we came, we decided to take a hike and go swimming. Your father and I were sitting in the grass, enjoying the fresh air and the sights. You and your brother were playing in the water. Then suddenly he started screaming 'Help, im drowning' and 'Krissy, help me' over and over. When your father and I heard you laugh, we thought you were just playing and since your brother was quite the actor, we payed no mind to it. Everything was fine until you came over to us, complaining that he didint want to come up to the surface. By then, it was too late. It seemed that a blow of water came and trapped him in the rocks. We... we never found his body." She said sadly.

By now I was softly crying, my shoulders shaking with quite sobs. I coudint believe what i was hearing, it all seemed like a dream, a horrible nightmare. It coudint be my reality, my past.

It musent be.