Dark mind

Feelings

Juniper POV

I ended up spitting the ice tea that was in my mouth, rather unattractively , followed by a coughing fit because I had choked on my drink. 

"Easy there! Damn, if I knew you would have reacted this way, I would have waited till you swallowed." Ty said with, I noticed, a nervous laugh as he patted my back while I kept coughing.

When I finally calmed down, I sounded like I ran a marathon. "What... What did you just say?" I asked in a horse voice, rubbing my throat.

"I love you." He repeated, this time with more security.

I stayed silent, coughing a little. I didn't know what to say. I knew this would happen, I wasen't an idiot but...
What should I say?

"Juniper?" He asked tentatively, touching my shoulder and jerked away. I stood up and crossed my arms.

"Its pretty late, I better get going." I said and turned to walk away but he caught my arm and spinned me around so I was facing him.

"Juniper, don't act like you didn't know." He said softly and I shoved him.

"Tyler, back off." I said and this threw him off.

"Why are you mad at me ?" He asked defensively.

"Im not, okay? But I have to get home. I'll see you around." I went to leave he grabbed me again, pinning me to the railing.

"Your a really bad liar, you know?" He said, his breath fanning my face.

"I spent month's deceiving people and telling them I was okay when in reality I was no where near that status. Think again. " I said, getting both sad and angry.

"I see right through you, you can't lie to my face and get away with it." He said softly, noticing my distress.

Wen I refused to answer, he sighed.
"Juniper talk to me, please. I just want to help you. Look if its about what I said-"

I laughed bitterly, shaking my head. He stepped away from me, giving me space.

"Don't do that, don't pin the guilt on yourself when in reality im the one to blame. Don't you see? I don't deserve this and neither do you. Why don't you just walk away?" I said.

"Why would I walk away from you? Juniper, I care about you so much. I coudin't imagine my life without you." He said and took a step towards me.

"That's the problem, Tyler! You care, you care too much!" I half yelled at him. He stopped and I could see the hurt in his eyes.

I felt my heart breaking.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He said carefully, selecting his words.

"Tyler, I don't deserve you! I don't deserve a person like you in my life, I dont deserve your love. Get it through your head, your too good for me. Look at me Ty! Im broken beyond repair, I have a million concerns right now. I cant- I dont think- ugh!" I groaned in frustration. I was on the verge of having a panic attack.

My first instinct was to punch the wall but Tyler quickly caught on and wrapped his arms around me. I thrashed for him to let me go but he woudin't have it.

"Calm down, June calm down." He whisperd in my ear and bit by bit, my breathing returned to normal and I stopped moving

He pulled away so he could look at me. He wiped the tears that I didin't know has fallen off my face.

"Why would you want to be with someone so insecure, so problematic and so unsure of her own feelings? I dont know what's love. I stopped knowing what that was when my dad died. " I said miserable.

"I heard you." He said softly.

I tilted my head in confusion.

"I heard you, talking to your horse at the stables. " he said.

Well, that was embarrassing." Oh."

"Juniper, you have to stop thinking of yourself as this strong person who is always okay. Your father O'D, your brother died, your mother is with a guy who used to beat you up, you were diagnosed with skitzofrenia and O. D. D, something that your mother hid from you-"

"Dont forget about my brother haunting me and having to work hard for my grades to go up." I added sourly.

"My point exactly. Juniper, your not perfect, your human. You try to be strong but in reality your very fragile girl." He said softly, his eyes showing nothing but adoration.

"What if I don't want to be fragile? I hate being weak, that's why I mostly keep thing's on the inside. The outside world can never understand me." I said, my voice barely audible.

"I understand you Juniper. And there is nothing wrong with being fragile. Being fragile makes you have the most sincere and beautiful feelings." He ruffled my hair and I kinda laughed.

"How do you know its love? How can you be so sure you love me?" I said with one last ounce of fear in me.

"Because no one makes me feel like you do. There is no one on this earth that I can compare to you. Your fearless, strong, stubborn, funny, insanely gorgeous." that made me go red and hide my face with my hands, making him laugh.

"Your unique and one of a kind. And I have thought of this for a while but now im sure that its the truth. And the truth is that I love you Juniper Thompson." He said softly and I smiled. He grabbed my hands, prying them off my face.

"Next time we go doing illegal activities, let me do the planning." I said with a grin, all my fear going away.

"You just ruined the mood." He said, rubbing my nose with his making me giggle.
"I love you too Ty." I said and next thing I knew he was kissing me softly and I kissed him back, his hand's on my hips and mine tangled in his hair.
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"Will your Aunt kill you for getting home at this hour?" Tyler said he pulled up to Aunt G's.

"I may just sneak in and figure it out in the morning." I said, taking off my seatbelt. I leaned towards Tyler and gave him a peck on the lips

"Bye Trouble maker." I said as I got out.
"See you tomorrow, babygirl." He grinned.
He waited for me to be inside, then he left.

I checked Aunt G's room and she was fast asleep.

I'll deal with her in the morning.

I went to my room and changed into my pijama's. I made a mental reminder to wash my converse since they were filled with dirt. I got the yellow spray paint can out of my jeans pocket and stared at it with a smile.

I set it on my nightstand and turned of my light, closing my eyes.
Did I dream with Toby?
I dont know.
All I know is that before I drifted into unconsciousness, I heard a voice.

"It kill's me to see you happy." It said.
Then everything went black and sleep took over.
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Forgive me for not letting Juniper be happy. Hope y'all are enjoying the story.
Also, I edited this chapter while being at the beach. It dosen't get any better than that.
Thank you for all the support, it truly means the world to me.
-Ali D.

Edited