Dark mind

Thank You/// Acknowledgments

Its oficially done!

First off, I want to thank my parents who let me stay up until unholy hours of the night just to edit a chapter and for also understanding that the reason I was on my phone so much wasent because I was chatting with cute boys (first off, it would be very weird for a cute boy to be genuinely interested in all the crap I have to say)  but because I was in the mids of publishing, editing or writing. So thanks mom and dad, for always supporting me, you are the coolest.

Next I want to thank my best friends Caleb, who in spite of the fact we fight and insult each other on the daily, I care about him immensely. To Gabi who is literally the cutest person I know and the equivalent of a teddy bear, and also my robot mother. And to Angy who I miss greatly, I hope you come to visit. The gang misses you.

I want to thank my little sister Alondra and my best friend dark boy for hearing every single audio I sent them about this story and for being on board with the idea. To my "twin" Diane, who texted me the other day saying that she was hooked on the story and says she stays up late reading it, which made me so happy. A shout out to my "big brother" who does not like to read but said he said he would give my book a try. I also want to thank Michael, he was literally the first person to read and vote on each chapter, the one who I would always end up spoiling what was about to happen and the one who would screenshot the mistakes and tell me to fix them. Im still waiting for him to finish writing his story btw :) Anyways, I love you all, thank you for you're support.

I've said it before but I'll say it again. A big thanks to dreaminspirer, who encouraged me to start this mini roller coaster ride. Thank you for you're unconditional love and support, and for also helping me with the titles and covers. You inspire me, and I love you sm for that.

I want to thank every single person who reads my story. I really didn't expect this sort of feedback but im happy people enjoyed this little piece into my mind.

This book is so special to me and will forever hold a place in my heart. It is literally the rawest most realist version of myself disguised. Its basically me talking about my depression, my mental illness, and trying to understand and express the things that I find impossible too. Its like my safe place, where I can say whatever I want and feel however I want without society interfering and without having to deal with the worlds opinion. Where I can be missunderstood and sad all I want, without having to explain why or how.
It is, no pun intended, the darkest version of my mind.

For as long as I can remember, I felt like I was damaged. I felt like I didn't have the right to speak about my depression, or about the nights I stayed up with my insomnia as my only company. I felt like I shoudint have a say in the matter, because all around me they're were people who's lives were so complicated and they had the right to be depressed. I, however, didn't. Because there was nothing remotely wrong in my life for me to want to sink into the darkest corners of my mind. Its something society always threw in my face, something which made me feel like I didint belong anywhere. People always told me I should be grateful for what I have, and smile because my life was better than other people's. But if my life was so good, why did I constantly have this nagging, dark, cruel thoughts and feelings in my head? Why did I feel hate towards myself, to the point where I would wind up hurt by my own hands?

They told me I should talk, I should get everything out of my system. But the problem there was that no one listened, no one actually payed attention to what I had to say. They would just glance at me and say "You are too emotional." or "Your emotionally unstable." "You need to get a grip, be stronger." I got tired of listening to the same bs so I just stopped talking about my "non existent", "non important" issuies.