Ascension

Lorelei

Right now I am in between worlds. I know I got knocked out by anesthesia. It's a weird type of sleep. Where you are not fully asleep but not actually awake. It happens when you are in between dreams. Strange when you think about it. Any second a dream can start. Any-

Twas the night before I was supposed to go off to Elijah's colony. I hadn't packed yet so I was packing. I was rummaging around in my room looking for anything I might need for this trip. It looked like a tornado had hit my room. Clothes were everywhere.

This might have been the least untidy I had been in a long time. I was digging around until I had found a false bottom in the shelves.

"What in worlds?" I had thought to myself.

I tried to pull the false bottom away but it didn't work out so well. I ended up just smashing it in with a rock. I guess I am very destructive like that but I just don't know. I brushed away the wood pieces and revealed the things I had hid there. I had forgotten I had hid things there to be honest.

I found three jugs of alcohol that I had stolen from Tove. I never would have taken her for an alcoholic but I guess she has sides to her that no one knows. Like me. I had already drinken one of the jugs when my parents died. It burnt going down and it burnt coming up.

I ended up swearing off alcohol but by the time I had gone through everything in that drawer I would need the alcohol. The next thing I found were the star charts I had drawn up when I was 14.

I remember showing them to my mom. She had said that one day if I so pleased I could become a navigator. That pleased me very much. I was happy at the memory. Then came the nostalgia and the sadness.

I forced the nostalgia down and continued going through the drawer. In it was my journal. A few family photos. Pictures I had taken of the stars. And at the way bottom of the drawer, the one memory I had wanted to keep hidden. The necklace. Just the sight of it's faint glowing against the fabric brought me back.

It was the night of my 15th birthday. My parents and I were kind of celebrating. My mom had made me a vanilla cake. It looked extravagant in my opinion. She presented me with a small box that was small enough to hold in my palm. I looked at her with tears in my eyes.

Usually for birthdays parents make them a cake and call it good but my mom actually got me a birthday present. She put the box down on the table and hugged me.

Tears were just flowing out of me by now. My dad stood in the corner watching with his same old scowl. Even dad's horrendous mood couldn't lessen mine. I had an actual Birthday present!

"Happy birthday sweet girl." My mom whispers into my ear.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you." I cry.

"Now now. You have to open it." She tells me.

I take the box from the table and open it. Inside is the prettiest necklace I had ever seen. It shimmered blue. It seemed to have every shade of blue swirling within the jewel.

"Oh my stars, mom it's beautiful." I gasp.

She takes the necklace from my hand and puts it on my neck. I shiver when I feel it pressed against my skin.

"Why is it so cold?" I ask.

"Because this is Allura. Allura is white hot at it's normal temperature. We have to contain it within the confines of the Cyroglass so it doesn't explode." My mom explains stroking my hair.

I don't really know what to say to this.

"It's beautiful mom." I tell her.

She smiles at me. Her smile is so pretty.

Then the walls cave. My mom yells out in pain. It doesn't even register with me that our room had blown up until I was under a table. I could feel my knee screaming out in pain but below it, nothing at all.

The memory leaves me feeling weak and hollowed. I feel almost dead inside. It's the last memory I have of my mother. I suddenly feel a rage coming from deep within me. I take the necklace and hurl it across the room and it hits the mirror.

I pick up a bottle of alcohol and start drinking. One sip. Two sips. Three sips,ect. I count until I can't feel anything anymore. The world around me gets fuzzy as the alcohol messes with my head.

A small voice inside me whispers to stop but drinking is too much fun. I down about half of the bottle before it slips out of my hand and breaks against the floor.

I can't let my drinking fun end there so I grab another bottle. I pop it open and start drinking again. The alcohol burns my chest but it numbs my pain so I keep drinking.

Eventually my stomach completely rejects the alcohol and I throw it all up. Onto my bed. The putrid stench in the air makes me want to gag. I can't sleep here tonight. I stumble out of my tent and towards Elijah's. I am about to trip and fall when someone catches me.

I look up to see who caught me. It was a tall stranger in the night.

"Lorelei have you been drinking?" He asks.

I recognize the voice now. It was the Doctor.

"Maybe. Maybe-not." I slur.

The doctor picks me up and carries me to a soft warm bed. At first I think it is his bed but then I notice the distinct smell of disinfectant. I am in the hospital. Again. For the last time, hopefully in a long time.

I wake up with a pounding headache. The fuzzy feeling from last night is gone and it has been replaced by a sense of longing for my parents. It is strange because that's why I had been drinking in the first place. I don't realize I have tears running down my face until I put my hands against my face. I grab a tissue and wipe them from my face.

My dream ended. I still don't feel pain but I can tell I'm waking up soon. I felt pretty empty. Why did my subconscious do this to me? I don't like my subconscious. I can see the presence of light from behind my eyelids. I can tell I am awake but I don't want to be.

"Lorelei?" A voices asks.

They know I'm awake.