Unexpected | Calum Hood

18.

23 weeks

Everything happens so fast.

Cal helps me dress myself as best as he can, since at this point, I'm in hysterics. He gets me situated in a pair of leggings and an oversized T-shirt before sliding my shoes on for me. He wastes no time after that, scooping me up and carrying me to the car.

We're silent, both terrified of what this could mean. I cry softly into his chest listening to his rapid heartbeat. He buckles me into the front seat before running around to the driver's side and jumping in. He pulls away from the curb with tires screeching.

"Cal..." I choke out.

"I know." He says his voice thick with emotion.

I want, no I need, him to tell me that everything is gonna be okay. When I look over to him though, he's staring straight ahead, his knuckles gripping the steering wheel to the point his knuckles are white. Sheer panic fills the air in the car as he drives recklessly down the highway towards the hospital.

He pulls into the bay for the emergency room racing inside leaving the car running with me in it. He returns moments later with a nurse, helping me down into the wheelchair she brings. She tells him where to find us once he moves the car before whisking me away.

With Calum out of my sight my anxiety becomes overwhelming. My breathing quickens, sweat covers my skin leaving me clammy, and my chest tightens. What if this is it? What if I'm losing our baby? What if it's all my fault?

I try to focus on breathing. In and out. Thinking about the things I am touching, hearing, smelling, anything to try and bring me down from my anxiety attack.

Cal reappears and a look of understanding crosses his face. He approaches the bed I've been put on slowly taking my hand and placing it to his chest.

"Breathe with me." He instructs with our eyes locked. I inhale and exhale in time with him and my chest finally begins to loosen. He relaxes as my torso rises and falls at a more natural rhythm and I drop my hand from its place against his heart. He closes his eyes and for the first time I notice the wetness beneath them. My heart is completely broken watching Calum cry, something he's never done in front of me.

I reach out with my hand, entangling our fingers as a doctor comes in to speak with us.

"Hi, folks. So I see here, Jessie, you are 23 weeks pregnant and your chief complaint is some bleeding, is that right?"

I nod, trying to control my sniffles. Cal squeezes my hand trying to offer some comfort. The doctor's voice softens.

"Bleeding doesn't always mean a miscarriage, okay?"
He offers quietly.

I'm trying so hard not to cry but I'm failing miserably. I squeeze my eyes shut and nod as my tears overwhelm me.

"I'm gonna get a nurse and a heart doppler and I'll be right back. Try to take some deep breaths, okay?"

The wait for his return seems absolutely endless but when he does finally return with the machine I wish for a little more time to prepare for whatever he's about to tell me.

I lay back on the exam table flipping my leggings waistband down and lifting my T-shirt allowing him access to my abdomen. He presses the doppler against my stomach and the room is silent, you could hear a pin drop. The seconds tic by as time seems to freeze. I hold my breath and pray that everything is okay.

The steady whooshing sound we've come to love fills the room and Cal and I both gasp in relief.

She's fine. She's still there.