Unexpected | Calum Hood

43.

Calum

Visiting my girls had rejuvenated me in ways I hadn't known I'd needed. Leaving behind people I loved, outside of my parents and Mali, while I was with the band was new to me. I also had rarely left Jes previously, so learning to be away from both her and PK at once was a lot of emotion to process.

The last two weeks have been slightly easier as I adjusted to the familiar routine we established. Wake up, eat, band activities, eat, more activities, call home, eat, sleep, repeat. Things weren't always in that order but they created a method to the chaos and helped me get through anything just knowing I'd get to see and talk to my girls at some point in the day.

The boys had begun to discuss their plans for after our media obligations. Jes hadn't been thrilled when I informed her that we'd have to stay in Asia longer as things were added to our schedule. Now I couldn't come home until the middle of July. She was supportive as always but I know she was disappointed I wasn't coming home just yet. Her only request was that I be home by the twenty-third. I knew that day was hard for her and promised her that come hell or high-water I'd be there.

My parents had decided to go home to Australia on the sixteenth so they could return to their lives after nearly two months with us. I think Jes was more disappointed that my parents were leaving than she was about my return being delayed. She and my mum had become really close since Paisley was born and their bond had only been strengthened with my parents constant presence in our home.

My parents returning to Australia meant that Jes would be alone in the house again. The idea of her there by herself with PK makes me incredibly nervous. I know Mark is legally obligated to stay away, I know the police drive by our house once an hour, I know another break in is highly unlikely but I still don't want them alone. I make a mental note to myself to call Lena and have her stay with them. Their return also means I need to swing through Oz to say a proper goodbye to them. I don't know when I'll make it out to see them again. That's at least another few days away from home.

I run my hands through my hair and lean my head back. I wish being away wasn't so difficult, I wish I was with Jes and Paisley, and I wish I wasn't so damn sexually frustrated.

Every night I look out into a sea of people and find myself wishing for two faces that are never there. I miss holding Jes, laughing with her and falling asleep with her in my arms. We haven't made love since before Paisley was born. Now my absence was delaying the thing I wanted most, a night alone with my gorgeous girlfriend.

Jessie

With Calum's trip extended, he missed Paisley turning two months old.  She seemed to become more aware and active with each passing day. She kept her eyes on me constantly, she tried to respond to me when I talked to her, and she hated to be put down. Where the first month of her life I felt unprepared and ill equipped to care for her, the second month saw me find my confidence as her mother. I could finally distinguish her cries. I knew what she wanted and how to satisfy her. She needed me and I was thriving in my role as her caretaker.

As she got older I had to reassess my work situation. Though I loved my job at Wild Child, I loved my sweet P more and so after much deliberation and several tearful FaceTime's with Cal I decided to quit my job. We didn't trust anyone outside of our family and close friends to watch Paisley, and I didn't want to miss all of her firsts. I had thought about the idea for a while before Calum was the one to ultimately suggest it. I wouldn't completely stop working, I'd still do some free lance event planning so I didn't feel like a free loader in my own home.

As the time approached for Calum's parents to leave I found that because of all of their help and support I didn't feel anxious or overwhelmed. I felt like I'd found a new normal and everything was going to be okay.