[CLOSED] Helping Hands Critique Journal

#1 Sleep Now, Yana

IMPORTANT NOTICE:
I am not a professional writer and/or critic. My evaluation and opinions will be based on my observation.

✏✏✏

Username: NobodyElse2
Story: Sleep Now, Yana
Critic: Pinkieditidy
Date Critiqued: August 1, 2019
Parts Read: 8 Parts
Book Status: Completed

TITLE
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I admit, at first akala ko magiging tragic ang story na ito, and yes, I already predicted na may sakit ang main character. It's predictability gave justice to your story though, and you worked with it quite well. I wouldn't say that it is novel though, as there are other stories with a similar style of title. But it would be cliché depending on the person reading it. Overall, your title is good.

BOOK COVER
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I simply adore your book cover. The background speaks for itself, at tumugma pa ang font at kulay. Good job!

BLURB
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

It's brief and concise. Maayos ang ipinakita mo dito and not too much information were revealed, however, it's a bit lackluster for me. Yana has a condition and she wants to be cured. That was basically what your blurb is stating. It is enough to make a reader intrigued, pero I think mas mainam kung maglalagay ka ng something na pwedeng makahikayat sa kanila. Pero choice mo pa rin iyon. Overall, it was well-written.

CHARACTERIZATION/
TONE
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This is the part where I was impressed by you. You introduced the characters so well! And given na dalawa lang ang mostly nagsasalita sa kanila, madali silang na-differentiate. I love the way you portray them, and you can clearly feel them breathing. Great job for this one!

PLOT
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Well-written ang istorya mo, that's a fact. Maayos ang daloy nito, hindi gaanong mabilis ngunit hindi rin gaanong mabagal. In short, the pacing was perfect! Hindi mo rin minadali sina Yana at Theo at ang pag-build-up ng nararamdaman nila. I was contented by the ending, however nakulangan ako nang kaunti at may mga katanungan ako.

Paano siya gumaling? Dahil ba sa pagmamahalan nila ni Theo?

It's a whole mystery to me, and I think d'yan lang sa part na 'yan naging sudden yung scenes. I suggest that you give a little description on how it got all resolved. Other than that though, I was impressed.