[CLOSED] Helping Hands Critique Journal

30. A Lost Shadow

DISCLAIMER:
I am not a professional writer, critic, and/or editor.  My evaluation and opinion will be based on observation, writing seminars that I’ve attended and/or personal research.  I might be harsh but my only intention is for you to improve your skills in writing, not to bash or discourage you. And last but very important, I am not a grammar geek.

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Author: 1Dark2Shadow3
Story: A Lost Shadow
Critic: Eiramana325
Critique Released: May 21, 2020
Parts Read: 11 [Disclaimer to Chapter 5]
Book Status: Completed but Under Major Revisions
Genre: Fantasy

TITLE
[5%]

A Lost Shadow:  The title alone caught my attention and it boasted its genre already.  It is also easy to remember and intriguing.
Personally, I was intrigued enough to read it, as its similar to the best-selling English novel.

BOOK COVER
[3%]

The face of the woman with mask on the black background was simple and catchy.  But— I was quite disappointed on the placement of the title, sub-title, and author’s name as well as the font used and its size.  Since there’s small extra space on the top, it’s better if you put your pen name there, the size of the sub-title.  At the bottom, the title of the book and below it would be the sub-title.

Ex.  1Dark2Shadow3 [Medium Size]
        Image
        A Lost Shadow [Big]
        Book One of Shadow Series [Smaller that Medium Size but not as small as your current there]

With that being said, it would be comparable to the book cover of the well-known English novels.  And it would seem to be professionally made.

BLURB/
PROLOGUE/
INTRODUCTION/
DESCRIPTION/
TEASER
[9%]

BLURB

Your blurb was good, short and precise.  It informed the reader like me, about what is a Shadow Weilder, as it is my first question.  It also intrigued me about the main conflict of the story.  However, you didn’t introduce the name of your protagonist.  You just used the pronoun, she.  If your main intention was to make her enigmatic enough, it’s your call.  Try to read the blurb of some of the most best-selling novels, they always mention the name of the protagonist.  Also, you included the award received by this story which was the best way to sell your work as well. Great job and congratulation.