~Chapter Four~

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"Eva, where were you?!" Bonnie demanded as I neared the football field. "When you didn't show up for lunch I got worried." Concern filled her eyes as she rested her hand on my shoulder. "What is it?" 
   Shaking my head, I slid my hands into the back pockets of my boot legged cobalt jeans and rocked on the balls of my black and white converse shoes. "Nothing. Hey, where's Caroline?"
   "Stretching, why?" Bonnie asked boredly, adjusting her crimson cheer leading skirt.
   "I think I'm gonna skip practice today," I murmured, gazing off in the direction of town. "You don't mind, do you?" I begged. "I promise I'll come on Wednesday, it's just... I have something else I need to do today."
   Sighing, Bonnie tossed her black and white string pom poms into the back seat of her car and pulled her keys from her bag. "OK. Where to?"
   Without warning, I wrapped my arms around Bonnie and hugged her, resting my chin on her shoulder. Bonnie had done so much for me already, and she was still willing to stop everything for me. She was so selfless and loyal, but I couldn't keep using her. 
   "Thank you Bonnie," I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut to keep the tears from flowing. "I appreciate everything that you have done for me so much. You really are the best friend anyone could ask for," I smiled. "But I think I'm going to walk. You've done enough already."
   "Eva," Bonnie whispered, stepping closer to avoid indulging listening ears. "You know I'm happy to help, whatever you need. I want to help."
   "I know," I thanked her. "But I need to do this alone. I'll call you, OK?"
   "OK, just be careful. And I'll keep my phone by me. If you need anything call."


~~~

The wind brushed my hair back as I ambled down the quiet street, trying to clear my mind of all the chaos and hurt I had to bear my first day back at school. I thought today would be day one of the rest of my life, and it was, just not the life I'd hoped for.

Dear Diary,
   Today was an epic fail. My smile was supposed to let everyone know that I was fine, it was supposed to deter questions and sympathetic stares. Instead, I ended up crying in front of the only person who didn't know what I'd been through, and given the time it took news to travel through school, he'd probably been told already. But hey, I made it through the day! It may have been filled with tears and hurt but I'd still made it through in one piece.
   There was something else that happened today, something which, for the first time in a long time, made me feel... Alive. Today I met Stefan Salvatore, a new kid who started at my school. Jeremy almost hit him with the car this morning, but he didn't seem worried. It's weird thinking about him though. I've known him a day and yet I feel some sort of connection with him. Not just a 'being nice to the new kid' but something deeper. He's so easy to talk to and he's not like the other guys. He's so kind and gentle but strong and bold at the same time. 
   Looking back, the only time I wasn't thinking about Elena or mom or dad was when I was with Stefan. Mystic Falls is a small town and it is so refreshing and reviving to have a breath of fresh air, especially since that breath of fresh air is kind hearted and attractive...

A light breeze blew through the Mystic Falls cemetery as I tucked my diary back into my school bag and laid down on the cool, chartreuse grass. Rolling my eyes to the top of my head, I strained to read the upside down names of my parents carved into the rectangular gravestone sitting right behind my head.
   Caroline thought spending my afternoons in the cemetery was weird and depressing, but I actually found it comforting. Reaching up, I traced the letters of their names then rolled over so I was lying across their grave and my sister's next to them.
   Tears pricked my eyes as the vivid image of her blood soaked body amongst the shrub of the forest flashed through my mind along with the struggling of my parents as they sank deeper into the abyss underneath Wickery Bridge. Sitting up, I pulled my knees into my chest and leaned against the cold cement, holding the sides of my head in my shaking hands.
   "Why did you have to leave me?" I blubbered. "Why did you have to leave me? Why? Why?" I slid down until my head was on the grass, my tears watering the miniature blades surrounding my face. 

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