Fallen | p.jm

Help Me Go to Sleep

"See you next week," you bow lightly to the patient who smiles with a nod before leaving your office.

You're now a psychiatrist, working full-time at the clinic near your apartment.

It's been months now, and you've grown accustomed to the new routine your life has become.

You no longer work at the alley, but keep in touch with Jin and Namjoon, meeting with them often.

You avidly visit Jungkook and Taehyung at the cafe, not missing any chance you get to stop by.

Hoseok is still your neighbor, but not for long. Yoongi finally decided to move here from Daegu, and they have a place picked out and everything.

Jimin disappeared in the middle of May. It was now the end of April, the next year.

Clearing your throat, you enter the same apartment you've been in for the last several years.

You kick off your shoes and remove your jacket.

Going into your bedroom, you set your phone up on the dresser across from your bed; it had become a habit every time you come home.

You hit record and sit on your bed.

"Today is April 26, 20XX." You look down at your lap, sighing tiredly with your hands folded together tightly.

"It's almost been a year now. I can't help thinking about it... but I'm starting to think that you might never come back to me," you laugh, but there's no humor in your voice.

"Today I met with a new patient," you change the subject. "She's very sweet and I think I'll enjoy seeing her." You smile. "She has two little kids at home. She said she might bring them next time."

"I also met with Jungkook for lunch today," you grin again. "He and Taehyung are very happy at the cafe. They're thinking about moving in together. Isn't that something?"

Your eyes sadden again. "You better come back to congratulate them. And to show them that I'm not crazy. These videos are adding up," you comment, looking back down at the floor. "You'll have a lot to catch up on when you get back."

You look directly into the camera now. "I love you, Jimin."

Ending the video on your phone, you sigh once more before plugging in into the drive of your computer. After the second time Hoseok had found the videos stacked up in your camera roll, you stopped leaving them on there.

Not understanding, he thought you were still anxious, even making you take leave from work the following day after his discovery.

So on your computer, you add the new video beside the 334 others that fill the folder.

You wonder silently how many more you will have made before he comes back.

-

After watching a bit of TV and snacking on something small later that evening, you get prepared for bed; brushing your teeth, putting on some pajamas, and turning off all of the lights except for the lamp on your nightstand.

You lay down while comfortably shifting the covers over your body. Like every other night, your head faces the side of the bed he used to sleep on. You sigh and close your eyes.

Then you open them.

His stark blonde hair, white as a bird with leucism, lays in a peaceful, unmoving bundle where it touches the pillow in a bright glow that ignores the darkness surrounding it. One of his pale hands gently tucks itself under his cheek in a position mirroring your own, and his warm brown eyes bore into your own with a softness only they can bring.

You exhale with an uneven breath, eyes turning down at the sides for the second time that night.

"Help me go to sleep," you hush softly to the empty space beside you.

It's quiet as you stare at the figment of your imagination that lays beside you, looking so real you don't dare look away, afraid that if you do, he'll be gone when you look back.

"Ask me annoying questions... or words you don't know." You utter with a wavering voice, tears filling your eyes. "A-ask me what's for breakfast... or how long we have until I leave for work tomorrow..."

You plead to nothingness, yearning to hear the words that were once so bothersome to your unsuspecting heart. How naive.

You lift your hand gently from its spot beside you, extending it over to where he lays.

You think just this once, you'll be able to feel him. Even if it's just this time.

But as you blink, he disappears like every other time your mind plays this trick on you.

[A/N]

The next couple of chapters will be short like this one. I hope you stick with me through the end of this novel. It is so special to me.

Please let the comment section for this chapter be filled with love and comfort. Let's all support each other.

Rest well and be safe, my Ramies.

- Ichiranramen <3