✔ | Allure, S. Salvatore

ꜰᴏʀᴛʏ - 𝑺𝒕𝒖𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒅 𝑼𝒏𝒊𝒄𝒐𝒓𝒏

[Episode 18 - Under Control]

Control is subjective. It doesn't show itself out if you never wish to.

Ever since I was 7, I had issues with controlling any emotion. Love. Anger. Grief.

So it had been determined that I wasn't a normal child when it came to showing the necessary thing out and shoving the other in. I either stuffed it all in, or showed it all out. My mother, Miranda Gilbert, often told me to control the puppets called emotions. They're quite fickle you see Kat, she used to say. I used to nod and tell her I would control it. And I did. So I stuffed all anger and unfair feelings like grief, self-love and love into this alter ego. It's a unicorn that disguises a demon.

So people thought I finally accomplished control. But I knew better. Every emotion that I have just makes the unicorn more and more stuffed. The demon suffocates and begs to be let out. So, technically, I have it under completely under control.

That's what I tell Elena as we rush down for school. I just hope I see Stefan today. He's been avoiding me lately and Damon particularly asked me to stay away in all seriousness.

"Jerry get your ass down here right now or we're leaving you behind!" I yell another time for my lazy brother. I open my hair when I'm downstairs and look into the mirror, I pout and blow myself a kiss. 

Hmm, Kat-y enough. Jenna hangs the forgotten thermos on my hand as I put up a heroine's pose "Forgot this Blair Waldorf" she jokes, pointing to my large hairband. Hey! A girl gotta do what a girl gotta wear.

Elena opens the door with a smile but her smile dissolves when she sees a familiar figure standing at the threshold with his bag.

"Elena" I hear Uncle John greet with a smile. I forget my poses and look to my right. And sure, he's standing right there. I plaster a smile and walk towards him "Uncle John! Hey...!" I hug him, thermos and all. He pats my back with a smile and I start to go out. Elena stands inside as she plasters a huge fake smile "Hello uncle John".

John was a good uncle until mom and dad died. Everyone, including me, thought that he'd vouch for guardianship since Jenna was still in college but he didn't. And all of us kind of felt let down. The last time I spoke to him, I was fisting my fingers to resist the urge to shout and kick. Bygones, I tell myself.

Jeremy barrels downstairs and smiles slightly when he sees our guest "Hey Uncle John. What's up?" they do some weird man-hug expression that they developed years ago.

Jenna just stands there with her hand frozen on her hip as she mildly glares at the new arrival "John... You made it" she states rather grittingly.

"I said I'll be here before noon..." I help him put some of his suitcases inside as he enters the house.

"Oh what you say and what you do are typically two very different things" Jenna murmurs as she goes far into the house, probably avoiding him.

▹▹▹

Stefan is officially MIA from school so the day goes pretty fast. The last period is history and I wait until everyone exits. Feeling the weight of the small piece of folded paper, I walk to the table where Alaric sits, looking at me expectantly.

"Um... Thank you. You know, for saving me the other day... I know Damon falsely bribed you, I'm sorry..." 

He sighs and tells me to pull up a chair. When I do, he removes a stack of papers and hands it to me "I made a copy of a paper Jeremy wrote for me. I think you should take a look at it" my brows furrow as I read the title.

Fact or Fiction: The Truth About Vampires in Mystic Falls, by Jeremy Gilbert