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Thursday 11th

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It's up to you, and it's up to me

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Yoongi opened the buttons of his shirt around his wrist and rolled it up. Winter had begun. But Yoongi still felt hot after running around doing his work. He transferred the file from his left hand to his right, as he walked. 

"Ooh damn, can I touch your veins?" Yoongi creased his brows together and turned to the girl next to him. 

The girl smiled meekly, "I realized one second after I said that, how weird it was... sorry"

Yoongi had an amused look on his face. The girl next to him, Jen Cho, his partner on the current topic had been blabbering non-stop since they walked of the office building. Yoongi didn't really bother asking her to stop. He had grown used to it by working with Hoseok. That and also because he wasn't paying attention to anything she was saying. 

"You don't talk much, do you?" She asked. 

Yoongi glanced at her before looking ahead. He didn't answer to her question. Jen hummed, muttering a 'okay got it' before skipping ahead of him. 

"Why did you have to choose these two topics?" She asked, frowing at the two brown files in her hand. 

"There were three topics. I had to choose two. Classical music is easy. And I've got practice in pop culture" Yoongi answered. 

Jen looked at him with wide eyes, before breaking into a wide grin, "Holy shit, man! Your voice is so deep. I thought it would be..."

Yoongi raised his eyebrow inquinsitively at her. Jen trailed off looking for the word she needed. After a few seconds she shrugged before continuing.

"I don't know. Anything but that deep. You look like you make those squeaky baby sounds while walking" 

Yoongi sighed, shaking his head. He glanced at the time to see it was close to nine. He had been working for twelve hours and wanted to take a break. 

"Why are we walking again? I have a car" Yoongi murmured. 

"Because, there's no parking lot where we're going. It's better if we walk" Jen replied. 

Yoongi frowned when he walked into the park. His heart aching as he walked through. He sorely missed the younger. But there was nothing he could do. And now walking through his park, made him feel worse than he already does. 

"And why do we have to go through the park?"

"It's shorter this way. Either we walk around the park. Or we walk through. Which, by the way, would take way much longer."

Yoongi sighed and nodded. Quietly walking as Jen continued talking. However, Yoongi wasn't listening anymore. His eyes fell onto the stage. The tents. And automatically, he found himself looking for Jimin. He didn't know there was show. If he did, he would've gone.

"Yoongi, what happened?" Jen asked, "We've got to go. It's our last work for the day and I would very much like to go back home"

"Jen, just go. I'll join you later on" Yoongi replied. 

"Yoongi, we don't have much ti-"

"Jen, if you go now, I'll buy you ice - cream on the way back"

Jen seemed to consider the offer for a while. She nodded, before running away. Yoongi kept on searching for Jimin, until he spotted him. He just walked out of the tent. Taehyung and Jungkook were with him. They were crouched down next to something that Yoongi couldn't see from where he was standing. 

His eyes teared up when Jimin stood. At first he thought Jimin hadn't seen him. Not until his eyes locked in with the younger. Just seeing the younger for after so long, Yoongi felt his emotions crash inside of him like huge waves. 

Yoongi couldn't stand there any longer. He couldn't see Jimin for any longer without breaking down. So, he acted out of impluse. He tore his gaze away from Jimin and rushed the other way. He didn't care about Jen who was waiting for him. 

"Oh there you are. Wait- What happ-"

"Just go to the convention and take the notes. I'm sorry but I can't join you" Yoongi mumbled, pushing his files onto Jen. He didn't care if they fell down and walked away. He didn't like the way Jimin looked at him. Because he felt his resolution of leaving Jimin crumble inside of him. 

Yoongi stopped when he found himself far away from the park. He realized that he was now walking through the empty streets of the city. His thoughts were clogged by the younger. His emotions tumbling down. Hearting dropping to the pits of his stomach. Tears rolling without any signs of ending. He thought he could stay away from Jimin. But he couldn't. Not when he knew that Jimin was so close to him. 

He took in a shaky breath and looked at the time. It was fiffteen past nine. He didn't know when their show started from. But he wanted to meet Jimin. Even if it was for a second. But he also felt conflicted. He didn't want to risk Jimin's carreer. 

Yoongi curled his hand into a fist and turned around. He wanted to be selfish. He wanted to be selfish just for this once. So, he ran. He had walked away way too far from the park. And the only chance he would have at meeting the younger, was before the concert. So, he ran as fast as he could. 

His vision were blurred with his tears, but he didn't care. He lungs burned from the lack of oxygen but he didn't care. He just wanted to see Jimin once again. Hear his voice once again. And maybe hold him in his arms. 

And that moment nothing else mattered. Not what the world would think. He just wanted to remind Jimin that he will always love him. 

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(Written: 30-08-2020)

(Published: 30-08-2020)