Love of my Life

15.

Sunday went by with amiable bovine faces for Sana and Sid. Sid made himself busy in gym, club, cricket match and in office work. His phone was in silence, and he did not bother to look at that since last night, not even charge it. He was sulking, disappointed and distracted himself from this sour feeling which he detested. She was in his mind all the time. Missing and worrying about her even if he did not want to talk to her. He was acting like a small kid adamant and validating his demand, for her to realize the thing important to him.

Monday when he woke up, checked his phone and it was switched off due to no charge. He charged his phone and went to get ready for the day. He was standing 7:15am near Sana's community entrance to pick her up like a usual working day which has been a routine for him for 1.5 months now. Anticipating her glimpse, he missed her, her face, her voice, her smile, her hair, her lips, her aroma, her antics, her dancing eyes and hands., her gimmicks... everything about her. He thought of ending this fight and ask apology to her and will never behave the way he did. This was testing his sanity and was not having a good feeling to dwell.

He decided to never yell or shout at her, she is young, and he admired how she respects her parents' trust. He has never seen such disciplined and honest girl in recent times, and he felt proud of her and his choice. He thought that he will be more understanding and will never push her and make her do what she hates.

Fidgeting his fingers in car steering, shaking his leg, eyes fixed on her flat gate.. eager to see her, but she didn't come. It was 7:20.. she is very punctual and never late usually. He wondered and picked up his mobile, it was still off, he didn't bothered to switch it on and now worried he switched on the phone.. It had 32 missed calls from her, 112 message from her.. He was shocked and felt guilty for avoiding her calls and messages. He checked the messages which mostly said sorry and details about her point of view.. Her 'tum' to 'aap' transition in messages showed her fear of losing him. 

Then one message which caught his attention, she waited for him yesterday in road for there meet up, that he had planned. She lied to her parents and agreed to meet him and fulfill his demands... his heart felt heavy, heavy with guilt, heavy with ignoring her and doubting her intentions. How pathetic she might have felt when he didn't show up!! He hated himself for doing this to her. Then a message about her not coming to work today! no reason just a single line message.. 'I am not coming to work today.' 

He felt low about himself for torturing her, giving her so much hurt. She didn't deserve this. He felt ashamed of himself, he being matured between them but not showing that maturity which she showed made him feel disappointed of his childish behavior. He called her, she didn't pick up this time, but he felt that he deserved this. How she must have felt when he did not pick his call. He slammed the steering with how vulnerable he felt! Eyes getting wet, he felt ashamed.

Then suddenly his phone rang, it was Sana, his heart fluttered seeing her name in display, with a small smile he picked up the call immediately with relief that she might have missed his call and that he was wrong to think that she deliberately didn't pick his call. 

"Hello, Sana.." he said. "Hi Sid, sorry, I missed your call... Sorry aap gussa mat hona." she said fear in her voice evident with adding so many sorry. 

"I am sorry Sana, I am sorry for behaving like an asshole.. my phone was out of charge and I did not check it till now." Sid replied. "Oh, it's okay!" Sana said, her answer clipped short. 

"Why are you not coming today to work? Are you sick?" he asked.

"No, I am not sick" again a short reply from her. She was distancing herself from him, he could feel that. She is going back to her shell again, which he managed to break through there car rides and talks.  

"What is it Sana? Hmm... I am still waiting outside, come now.. get dressed.. I will wait for you here, take your time but I want to see you, I know you have taken off for today, I will also take my day off we can go out some where and talk this out. Please come Sana.." he almost begged her. 

"I am sorry Sid, but I cannot come, I am in airport." she said.. making Sid shocked.

"Airport, why airport? are you going somewhere? why didn't you tell me? No you cannot leave me Sana.. please don't give me such a big punishment. I know I was foolish to shout at you and I regret it.. I do.. please Sana.. sorry yaar aisa mat kar" he cried questioning, retaliating his deeds. 

"Nahi Sid, aap pareshan mat ho. Aap sorry mat bolo... I am not going anywhere, came with Subbu anna to drop my parents and my mama. They are going to Kerala, as yesterday night we got the call from my eldest mama that my 'Ammuma', I mean my Nani she is hospitalized as she had an heart attack. Amma was crying whole night, she is very sad. So Appa booked the tickets immediately, they are going for a week. I will come back home soon." She clarified giving a sigh of relief to Sid.

"Ohh.. Thank God! Main darr gaya.. I am sorry to hear about your Nani's health. Let me know when you come back home, I will pick you up.. I want to meet you Sana," he asked politely this time, not pushing her and ready to accept if she could not make. He has to practice that a lot of not being pushy and bossy with her. He has been bossy whole of his life and that's the reason he is in a good position in company. But relationship does not work that way, he understood that just by his first rift with her. 

"I will call you Sid, Subbu anna is coming back, I cannot talk in front of him. Sorry and please don't get upset. I will call you once I get back home and we will make some plans, definitely. I hope you understand! and I request you to go to office now as it will take 2 hours for us to reach home." Sana said quickly as she could see his brother coming back to car. 

"Yes, yes Sana, I do understand. Bye.." She kept the phone down before he could complete and get a reply from her. He understood her situation and has learnt his lessons well. He know that he has to be more considerate towards her and emphatic to her situation and beliefs. 

He drove back to company till he gets a call from her, missing her, still with a heavy and guilty heart. The scene that she waited for him in Sun out in the road just to fulfill his demand, lying to her parents , breaking her ethics and belief made him cringe about himself. He felt empty without her in next seat. He got habitual of her being with him all the time in the car. This car didn't felt good enough with out her being on the side. Life with out her felt empty just like the seat beside him... 

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