I Don't Believe "Love" BXB story

18

Oo y'all gone hate me but here's a song that would be god to listen to while reading this and you'll see why😭
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⚠️ Warning: this chapter contains suicidal thoughts/attempt, sexual assault, and drugs/alcohol⚠️

Flashback:

I remember screaming and crying for help. Because this girl wouldn't get off of me. Seems as though she was drunk, I have tried everything to fight her off. I was only 14 and she was 15. I don't know how she got access to alcohol.

"Shut up baby boy, someone would hear us."

I just kept screaming trying to get her off. She shut me up by kissing me. I tired to avoid her kissing me but she just forced my head to turn to her direction. Her body pinned me down so I can't move, so she slowly takes put her hands up my shirt.

She took my virginity, my first kiss and my trust for people who I thought loved me.

I actually liked her. Yet she made me believe no one did and would only use me for my body. That's why I can't picture ever being in love again. Because of the cruel world we live in.

Where men and women get raped by other men and women.

Matthews POV:

I'm a horrible person.

Why would I be so stupid to just push him away. But why would I not push him away? I regret nothing I said to him.

Right? I hate this. I don't get this feeling. I want it to go away.

I want this pain to go away. Why does it feel like my whole world just fell apart. He hardly hung out with me. We have only hung out for almost 3 months. Why the hell does someone I dearly hate making my heart hurt so fucking badly.

Those thoughts kept running through my head as I walking the rest of the way home. Along with "Why should I be trusting him?" Or "I don't deserve this".

I finally got home and as soon as I closed my door I was shaking and crying in tears. I've never felt like this when with my other relationships, and were not even dating.

So why does make my first heartbreak have to be with him? We're not even dating, or even on the talking stage. Why never even did i-

Was almost doing "it" the reason it hurt so much.

Fuck. I need alcohol. I got up and wiped my tears and looked for some alcohol that I hoped my mom left here before going to jail. Sadly there was none. Damn it.

I went upstairs to think of ways to ease the pain. So I went to my bed and laid down on my bed and listened to music.

I suddenly get a call from the hospital.

"Hello?"

"Hi is this Skylar Henderson's brother?"

"Yes is my sister alright?"

"Apparently not sir, she will have to be in here for another month or so. We just discovered yesterday that she has cut marks on her arms and they started bleeding again. She's slowly losing more blood. But don't worry sure we're gonna sto-"

I heard enough. I quickly hung up and went to bathroom to cry.

I hate myself so much. I want to be where she is right now. I wanna know how it feels.

I found some old prescriptions and just put them on the counter. I needed to feel pain before I take the pills. I had the sudden urge to punch the mirror and I did.

Now my knuckles are bleeding. Yay. I grabbed the bottle and just poured a handful of pills in it. They were a lot bigger than I thought they were gonna be, but it didn't matter, As soon as I was about to put the the first pill in my mouth, I felt a hand grab my wrist and pushed me up against the wall and made me drop all my pills.

I looked up to see who it was and I couldn't believe this was happening right now.

It was Shawn.

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VOmg y'all probably hate me😭. Just keep giving it the music besties. That was super sad to see I know I had to take a break from it because it was too much and I was writing this lol. I'm so had Shawn is here to save the day