I Don't Believe "Love" BXB story

19

Plz listen to this whole listening to the song. I feel that this song matches
well with the song.

TW:Suicide Attempt, Drugs

Shawn's POV

I felt bad about the whole situation that happened. I started to go over to his house. And I'm glad I did.

I knocked on the door and no one answered. I saw the door was unlocked and I opened it and went inside. I kept calling his name and there was no response. I saw a cabinet was open, looks like a wine cabinet. I headed upstairs to go to Matt's room.

Please don't put yourself in trouble Matt.

I saw that his room door was cracked so I just went ahead and went inside. I didn't see him in his room at all.

I check the bathroom and I saw him. Crying, hair looking a mess with a pill bottle in his hand. He looked so heartbroken. It heart my heart really bad. Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt his feelings? What are those pills for? Those thoughts were running through my mind as I watched him having a breakdown. I hated seeing him like this.

And what made it worse is he tried to overdose right there. But I stopped him, just in time. But I didn't stop him from everything else. His knuckles and and scars on his arms are bleeding from broken glass, His eyes are super red from crying, I couldn't stop those from happening. I should've been here sooner or kept him from leaving.

I pinned him to the wall and made him drop his pill bottle. He was staring at me like he was scared for his life. I wouldn't blame him though.

"L-Let me go Shawn" He said to me trembling with his words.

"Why?" I said with my voice cracking, what is he doing to me. "Why were you doing this?"

He wasn't saying anything, this trying to get out of my grip on him. I made my grip tighter so he wouldn't escape, I wanted to stay like this. I wanted to hold him in my arms.

"Shawn I'm not fucking joking let me g—"

I shut him up with a kiss with a tear going down my face. I let go of his arms and put my arms around his waist to give him a hug. I stopped kissing him after a few seconds.

Matthew's POV

Here we go again, he's kissing me. I don't know if he actually means it but I allowed him this time cuz I need it. And when I felt his arms around my waist it warmed my heart and stopped my tears from running even more.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for ever hurting you in life. I'm sorry for making it seem like your not enough in this world. I'm sorry I made you feel like no one loves you because people do, including me."

My eyes widened. Did he actually mean that? He loves me? He apologized? Why does my heart feel so good after that?

"Y-You love me?"

"Yes baby boy. I love everything about you. I was jealous about how adorable your face is when your sleeping in class, how you hardly ever eat veggies but when you do you chop them up to look like squares, how you dance around listening to you music. It hurts seeing you cry so please stop crying. And please don't hurt yourself."

That did it for me. He actually cared. I was crying again, even though he said stop crying, I was crying in happiness. I feel loved in this moment. I gave him a hug and kissed him in the lips. He did it back. I wanted to feel this moment that I feel right now, even if it's not going to last the whole time.

I wanted to feel alive again. I wanted to feel what love again. I don't wanna go away right now. Thank you Shawn, thank you for being here for me right now.

"Shawn?"

He lifted his head off my shoulder to make a face showing he was listening.

"I love you too"

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Omg I'm not crying you are. Anyways should I make a Q&A at the end of this book? I probably have 8-10 chapters left of this story so I can have time to answer your questions after. I love y'all bye <3