𝐍𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐌𝐞 | ✓

𝐗𝐈𝐕.

I'm not going to lie. When it comes to my emotions, I'll be honest. I was terrified. I hadn't lived around killers or drug dealers before. I used to reside in New York. Nothing happened there—what a lie. I climbed the stairs, peering into the air, shaking and biting my bottom lip, still attempting to gather my emotions. My name, "Yelena," was called out by a deep familiar voice. Emilio was the one calling me. I leapt to my feet, still terrified, and let out a small but audible yelp. You're acting like a bitch, Yelena. Keep your mouth shut.

I was merely a mere mortal. Whatever happened, I was going to have feelings. I raced away from Emilio, dreading the questions I knew he'd ask. I dashed inside my room like a gorgeous track star. I exaggerate my abilities far too much. But I'd rather exaggerate myself than be insecure. People, you only live once!

I flopped onto the queen-sized bed and pondered my life choices. This is nonsense. You are such a pussy.
Bitch, you've got to toughen up. I stood up and slipped off of all of my clothes. I stepped into the shower, still pondering what I'd gotten myself into. Would I have known my biological family if my adopted mother hadn't died? No ho, how dumb are you?

Don't get me wrong: I was still angry with my mother and father for abandoning me when I was younger, but I didn't expect them to desert me like that, so I've forgiven them for the time being.I needed to get rid of this emotion, so I turned on some music and took a shower.

"TELL ME ALL THE WAYS TO STAY AWAYYY AY AY AY YA" I screamed in my bathroom to get rid of my goosebumps, but it simply made things worse. The song was far too personal to me and my life. I sung it with my brush as a microphone, still fighting the tremors in my body. I sobbed and fell on the floor, burying my head between my knees—bottom energy.
I keep singing while sobbing like a baby.

When it came to my emotions, I was a bitch and a coward. My life had been so dreadful. Sadness triggers old memories, which trigger even greater unhappiness.
I shut down to let go of my pain and emotions. Nobody cares about me anyhow, so it's not like they'd mind if I locked myself in my room.

I despise my existence. I'm constantly afraid of getting up every day and having to repeat everything I did the day before. "Take a look at me. I'm grieving one minute because my family murders people, and the next minute I'm sobbing over my traumatic past and trust issues." I reassured myself, secretly chuckling as I wiped away my tears.

"I don't like it here!" In the running shower, I screamed and slammed my fists on the tiled floor.
I sob once again as I slowly tilt my head back. Crying is a form of self-healing, and self-healing implies the absence of suffering. I closed my eyes and breathed in and out as I counted to ten. When I had school meltdowns, my adoptive mother taught me how to use it as a stress reliever.

I stood up and turned off the shower after a long sigh. I took a step out of the shower and reached for my towel. Because I wanted the knots to have a better life than I did, I brushed my hair, leaving no knots behind. Clearly, my family did not watch Lilo and Stitch. "Ohana means family, and family means that no one is forgotten or left behind." That shit affected me in a different way. Depresso Expresso shit. I'm not sure if I'll be able to get over it. I'd sooner die than go through this.

I'm feeling terrible, and I just came out of the shower, but it made me feel a lot better than I did before. I decided to call Mimi and ask if she wanted to go out to lunch with me to take my mind off of things. I was delighted to get my mind off of things once she said yes. I put on a pair of green tight cargo jeans and a darker green long sleeve v-neck top. Before leaving my room, I put on my black and white Converse All stars and grabbed my wallet.

I was relieved that I hadn't run into anyone as I walked out the door; I jumped into the first car I saw and drove over to the diner Mimi and I had planned over the phone. We sat and talked for almost twenty minutes before receiving our beverages. It didn't take long for the beverages to arrive, as the wait was only about twelve minutes. "So, you seem a little down, are you okay?" Mimi inquired, perplexed, but concerned. "I know your secret now," I said with a smile.

For a few moments, she appeared perplexed, but then her eyes widened and she asked, "so you know about your family and mine now?" "Yes," I replied, still terrified since I knew what they were capable of.
"Well, I guess I should fill you in on a few things," she sighed. She told me, "Adrian is the underboss of the Mafia. Which means he does all of your father's dirty work."

I coughed as I choked on my water. "What!?!" I inquired, piqueing everyone's interest. "Shh, I'm not supposed to be out in public," she added, shielding her face from view. "Oh, I'm sorry, Mimi, I forgot," I apologized and informed her. "Well, don't forget next time because Adrian won't let you go if you forget," she said, her eyes relaxing. "What do you mean he won't let me go?" I inquired of her.

"Because Adrian is the underboss, and he will learn that you know who he is, he will be much rougher around you. Consider him to be a middle school bully. That's how horrible things can get." She explained everything to me. A very hot man strolled in before I could say anything, and he looked a little like Adrian, but from the angle I was getting, they didn't seem anything alike.