Royal Arrangement

3) NALINI ~ A home-tour

There was silence in the car. All I heard was my own breaths and the random honks and commotion outside. My stomach was churning from the slow anxiety as neared my apartment. I took a look at the screen displaying the GPS, and we definitely were not heading to my apartment.

"Where are we going? This is not the address I told you." I didn't even bother taking a look at Kabir, I simply tapped the driver's seat. He looked down gently. "That's the address Sir asked me to follow." The man replied timidly.

I turned my head to face Kabir and he was scrolling his phone silently. "Mr. Shekhawat, I already told you, no one lives there. Why are we even going there? It's useless." I explained to him, again. He sighed as he turned his head towards me. Before I knew he stretched his hand with his phone towards me.

I frowned as I looked at the screen. I held his phone in my hand gently. My fingers brushed against his and I looked up at him. His eyes still weren't at my face. He looked outside the window and somehow it felt so strange. He had way too much ego.

I stared at the screen, reading a familiar wording. I saw a familiar Profile, a familiar name, a familiar teary eyes emoji. My mother had texted him to take me back to my house for the rituals. What else did I need to know? My heart sank. I hated it, this feeling of losing, the same trauma that surfaced my heart slowly, the same old anxiety filling me up. My eyes fluttered as I kept staring at the screen blankly. 

Everything was hitting me deep. I haven't stepped in that place for seven years. The last time I did was before I left for America. My hands clutched the phone in my hand and I put it back by his thigh. He turned his head to me, I could feel his stare burning inside me.

The car stopped. I didn't want to look outside. I was dazed, I wanted to be. "Please let's go back." I whispered under my breath. I didn't have the courage to move. I knew Kabir had stepped outside already and he circled to my side and I took a deep breath before I stepped out of the car as well. My heart thundered in my chest, as I stared at the house.

I knew for sure, my mother must have asked someone to take care of the house after us. And I could see the familiar faces of our workers standing and waiting for us. It was a normal sized bungalow. The trees in the backyard stood taller and greener than ever. My breath hitched as memories made their way through my head, my heart. My soul ached from the longing.

My eyes tears up at the sight. I just stood there, taking in the surroundings. My childhood and teenage was so vivid to me, the trauma was the only thing that came to my mind after. My hands started trembling by my side. I curled them into fists, feeling the anxiousness growing inside me. It was when Kabir called my name that I came out of the trance. I turned my head towards him and he was staring at me with a gentle frown.

The sun was disappearing amidst the heavy clouds. I felt wind caressing my exposed waist, my face, my hair. Kabir was the only thing new about this place. I hated it, to be losing a bet to myself and I had lost a big bet. A bet of self-respect. But maybe I won another bet of life, to learn to let it go.

"Let's go." I barely said it under my breath as I stepped forward inside the patio. I took a deep breath, hiding my trembling hands by my side as I smiled wide. "Namaste." Both me and Kabir greeted them as we walked inside the house. I stole a look at him again, he smiled gently and that was one of the rarest smiles I got from him.

I paused in my steps to see the same old living room. It was old but so well furnished, just as I remember it to be. I felt Kabir's chest crashing against my back as he held me gently, supporting himself from the sudden stop. I felt it bringing me back to life and awareness again. My head was getting dizzy from so many thoughts running in my head. My breath hitched from it and I turned my eyes to his face.