Royal Arrangement

39) NALINI~ Burning

I leaned against the bathroom's cold wall as tears welled in my eyes. Kabir's words ringed in my head. The way he told me I was hurting him, the way he told me I was his. But I needed time, I needed a lot of time to let this go once for all so that I could love him truly, without any conditions. Without the condition of him telling me his feelings.

I let the cold water run down my head, seeping my hair, spreading a shiver down to my feet. The coldness of the water made me feel still, calm, alive and better. I could still feel his skin on mine. I could still feel his hands on the back of my neck. I could still feel his lips on my palm. I could still feel the closeness, the scent.

I shut my eyes tightly. Why was I doing this to myself? Why was I torturing myself this way?
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I stepped out in the room, Kabir was still standing half naked. His shorts and naked torso was teasing me enough. The way he stood, his bold shoulders, his broad back. Every single muscle visible when he turned his face to a side stealing a look at me. He held something in his hand.

Before I could even think further, he started rubbing his hands on his neck and shoulders. My eyes followed every single move and circle his fingers made across his neck, his shoulders. I wished it was me. I walked closer to the bed and that's when I noticed the blue and purple mark spread across his shoulder. How did I not notice it before.

He turned his head towards me abruptly. "Mind not evading my personal space Mrs. Shekhawat?" He couldn't be taunting me about earlier, not when I didn't give a shit about his opinion.
"How did this happen?" I asked. The tension cut the air between us, as he looked down at me, his hair almost dry, not neat at all. I looked at his shoulder and then up his neck, his jaw, his lips, his tempting eyes that pierced my heart every time I stared in them.

"How does that concern you?" He muttered. I went silent again. I had no answer for such a stupid question he had asked me. I had no answer for such an obvious thing. I eyes his bruise again.

"I need time Kabir. That's all I ask of you. I don't even know what I need time for, maybe to let the sadness and pain go. But I need it. To finally be able to say what I wrote in my letter in person, while you stand in front of me, while you look me in my eyes. That's when I will be sure, that yes I do fucking love.." I paused. I bit my lip, noticing how his eyes didn't move and inch away from my face.

"Take your time Nalini, but fit it in your head, there is no escape for you. I want you, you're here and mine." He ran a hand on my cheek to my hair. He ran his fingers through my hair to the back of my neck. I swear I melted. I swear I felt my legs turning jelly. I swear I could feel my own heart thumping after so long. A month felt like a decade without Kabir.

He turned around but I felt disappointment surging me. I wanted him to force a kiss upon me, only for me to kiss him back. I wanted his arms around me, I wanted his roughness. It was stupid of me to be wanting something I was holding him back from. I cleared my head by averting my eyes from him. He put his shirt on and I was grateful.

I slipped inside the bed. "When are they getting married?" I asked, both changing the topic and avoiding my thoughts to stop drifting back to steamy scenarios in my head.
"By the end of this month. We're going back to India this week." He said without even looking at me. He was skimming through the pages of his book before he stopped abruptly and breathed in.

I had already expected the royals to have rushed this marriage like ours. "I want it to be grand." I paused. "The wedding." I quoted.
He turned to the nightstand as he took a seat on the bed. "It's going to be Lavish, Abhishek's supposed to be the king in coming years, it has to be big, outrageously grand but ironically secretive."

"Our wedding was nothing then. It was way too simple for my taste." I voiced out, not filtering a word of what I meant.
"That's quite appalling that you remember it." He said. I wished I cut snap his neck. His fucking bruised shoulder. But he didn't just stop there, he continued with his cold shoulder. "Especially when I clearly remember how all day long you were looking at me like you hated me to my guts."