Royal Arrangement

11) NALINI~ Bitterness

Fuck you Nalini.

The words remained replaying in my head. I saw the hurt in Kabir's eyes. I saw the hatred, the betrayal, the anger, the sadness they had in them. But what about mine? I was selfish? I didn't put in the effort?
I was crying in his arms like a child?

I opened up with him once and I knew I would regret it for the rest of my life. I told him how disgusted I was and he did the exact same thing I feared. I hated him. I had decided, I could never fall for this man. I had been a fool to think this was real even if it was compromised. It was just a fucking game from the beginning.

"Nalini." I heard my father-in-law, the man i had looked up to, betrayed me. He used me for a fucking bet. This was all a joke. I was just a pawn in their chess game that they didn't mind losing.
"Don't, please." I took a deep breath feeling the heaviness inside my chest. I was too busy feeling so many emotions that my mind felt blank. I had so many thoughts running in my head that I felt anxious.

I started walking upstairs to my room, I wouldn't stay here any longer. There was no point at all. I was a fucking fool all this time. "Fuck-fuck-fuck." I whispered under my breath again and again feeling my hands starting to shake.
My father's words, his memories haunting me ever since Kabir mentioned his name. Was I really just like him? I couldn't be. I wasn't.

My hands curled as I entered the room. It was a mess. I could see Kabir. He stood there by the window of his room. He turned his head and a small smile was on his lips full of mockery, self-mockery. "Satisfied much?" He asked and that was exactly what I wanted to question him.

"You wish Kabir. Because you need a fucking justification of what you did downstairs." I muttered as I closed the door behind as I walked inside the closet. I pulled the only suit case I could find. I started stuffing all the essentials in nonchalantly. There wasn't a single tear that came out. I had wished I could cry. Because I failed every-time I tried. I would hate to become the Nalini I was before. The same Nalini that just left her family behind.

I packed my bag in merely five minutes. I removed the pendant he had given me and placed it on the nightstand. He stood there unbothered looking out of the window. I cleared the dressing table of all my stuff. "You were right about one thing Kabir, I scar others when I let them in. And I am sorry for trusting you, thinking that maybe you knew exactly how it felt. The reason why I was crying in yours arms like a baby."

I removed my coat, gently placing it on the bed. He turned his head to me before he started walking towards me. My heart sank deeper than it ever did. For the first time it didn't flutter at the closeness. It felt suffocating to stare at his face as he edged closer. His hand grabbed my jaw as he made me look up in his darned eyes.

"One thing Nalini, I taught you well. To obey the damned rules and you broke each and every one of them in a single moment. You broke my trust I put on you, you disrespected me and my words. You don't deserve to be in my life. I am grateful this was just a fucking bet because you... are not worthy of being my woman." He stated and my heart shattered despite my hatred for him.

"Kabir, you keep telling yourself that and not me. Because deep down we both know, there was this tiny hope that You shattered. And I hate you.." For hurting me the way you are. I slapped his hand away. My breathing was uneven.
"And I swear I'd be a fucking fool to give this another chance. Because it was a fucking joke from the beginning!" I yelled, not afraid if anyone heard me.

"What ambitions I had for not signing those damned papers. I am stupid. You are a sadist asshole and I am so sorry I had hope." I brushed past him, grabbing my bag and made my way downstairs. I wanted to run as far as possible, from him, from sadness and that heartache I felt.