Royal Arrangement

38) KABIR~ Ignite

My hands curled at the thought of pulling Nalini into me. To kiss her deep, to silence her, to see her red cheeks, to see those moistened eyes, to hear her erratic heartbeat, to have her pinned against the wall while I was inside her, to love her and to fuck her all at once. There were so many emotions, so many thoughts, so many ways that were running through my head.

There was just too much of patience and control I held over myself. But the strain was increasing every second, threatening to break the string of patience. Threatening to break every ounce of control I held whenever she would appear in front of me. One whole day and I was going insane. I didn't know if I could hold myself a little longer at night.

The nights were ours. Ever since our first night together I knew that it wasn't just me, it wasn't just her, it was us. It all started on that night we met, that I found myself visiting so often every since she was gone. It was the tail of nights we spent together. Every night was hers, I hadn't read a single page of my books because the habit seemed so useless. I was stuck on the last page I had read with her head on my shoulder.

I was fucked in so many ways. But worst was not doing anything. I gave her time, I was losing control each day, and I knew I would hurt her with my possessiveness, with my anger so I let her run away. I knew I could hurt her with my ego, so I let my ego go. So I let it run. So I let it burn me until I knew that it was either me or Nalini. I chose her, because she was my everything. She had my heart and if I didn't have her, how would I live? Maybe I would, but wouldn't it be so meaningless?

I didn't really realise I was staring at her all this while until Abhishek hit my leg gently with his knee. He cleared his throat and I came out of my trance. I noticed the red cheeks of Nalini. I turned my head and found Akshita and her mother smiling while they looked down. I found Abhishek rolling his eyes.

He leaned down. "You have all night to eat her out, have some real food while it's dinner time." He said and I passed him a look. He smirked and I really wished I could give him a punch. I looked back at Nalini and I caught her stealing a glance at me. She averted her eyes while she stuffed her mouth.

Oh the edge of lip. The way the crumbs were stuck there. I wanted to wipe them off myself. With my thumb, better with my tongue. Oh god Abhishek could read through me so easily. I took a deep breath as I looked down at the food. I knew Nalini made it, I was peaking at her when she prepared the dinner. I missed the sight. My life had been so bland without her.

I took a bite slowly, I could feel her eyes on me. I felt the coldness and the way it was slowly spreading through my body. I felt the way the sadness creeped in my heart. I just found it hard to swallow. I found it hard to be bearing her presence all of a sudden. I hated my own mood swings. I hated how I wanted to do everything to her all at once.

I slid the chair back as I stood up abruptly. "I should go take a bath." I slammed the spoon back on the table. Oh fuck I needed to cool down, I was aware. The new line between hate and love was what I was walking upon. I could feel both at once, the desperation to love her again but the desperation to hate her again was also there. The way she had just left me there was so fucking hurting.

She had answered no calls, no texts. More-so, she just cut me off, changed her number to a new one. She probably wasn't aware of what she had done wrong. Something so so so wrong, I wanted to slam my lips against her and teach her a lesson.
"You should use Nalini's bathroom." Said my mother-in-law. Of-course I would.

I turned around and headed towards the guest room to pick my bag up. I clutched the bag and walked to Nalini's room. Before the door could even be shut, she walked in. "You're not staying here Mr. Shekhawat, are you?" She crossed her arms over her chest. I eyed the door and her small frame against it. How foolish of her to even ask me such a stupid thing.