Royal Arrangement

4) KABIR ~ A Stain bargain

I stared at Nalini as she stirred the tomato and garlic stew. I stood there with my arms crossed in one of her t-shirts. I wouldn't be stuck here if she hadn't insisted on picking up some stuff from her apartment on our way back. Now we were here, all alone, stuck due to the raging storm outside.

I had changed into shorts and t-shirt she gave me. Was this used before? I frowned at the thought. I hated thinking about it. What if her boyfriend's have worn these before? I didn't want to ask and make it obvious to her that I was very uncomfortable in these.

All day long, I had watched her every move, trying to know her so that I could use at-least something against her, for her, for me. But every second of the day I had realised she had no cover on her tongue, emotions, expressions. She was way too cold and way too hot throughout the day. Not hot in a physical way, but maybe. I sighed as I watched her again. So nonchalant, quite yet her energy was roaring.

She turned her head towards me. "Kabir, take out those dishes from the shelf behind." She motioned her hand and I frowned. First off Kabir, second off her ordering me around. I tucked my tongue against the wall of my cheek.

"What did I tell you? I hate you calling me by my first name." I frowned as agitation bursted through me. I noticed her expression shift to a rather surprised one.
"I- nevermind. Mr.Shekhawat can you get me the dishes?" She asked again and I was surprised by how chill she acted. But I noticed the shift in her eyes. They were cold and the warmth about her disappeared in a split second.
"You know what, I will do it myself." She whispered under her breath walking where I stood. She rose to her toes as she pulled two plates from beside me. Her body gently brushed against mine but she just walked back. Her eyes didn't look at mine once.

I clenched my jaw. She was always changing, her moods, her coldness. Most importantly she needed to learn how to conceal her coldness in public. Now that she was my wife, she needed to realise that treating me sincerely Outside our room was going to be her new habit. I have always seen my father and mother joke around, call each other by nicknames but in private from the very beginning. As a royal, we've always been warned to protect out privacy cause media won't let one thing slide.

She served the rice with the stew she made. I noticed her hands. They were small yet slender in a way. Her fingers were quite chubby. She had the habit to fist her hands again and again just like she bit her lip way too often. The body language was familiar to me. I knew exactly where it was coming from.

She looked up gently, but not at me. "Do you mind sharing the table Mr. Shekhawat?" She asked.
"Only if you let me eat in peace." I said as I walked to her side picking up my dish. It looked good and I was hungry. I hadn't had home-cooked meal in a long time. Especially made by someone from my family. But I wanted to go back to America as soon as possible. I wanted to get back to my comfort zone.

I looked up at her and she just stood there, silent, staring at her food. She blinked slowly. Did I over do it? I felt guilt for some reason. She didn't retort back. She just took a seat next to me. Her expression changed into somewhat sad one. She finally looked up and I saw tears in her eyes. "I will let you in on a secret, you make me feel lonelier than I usually am alone." 

My heart sank and it thundered against my chest as I stared at her. I didn't expect it. Was I really that big of a jerk? I couldn't help it. I knew already this was going to happen. This exact same thing. This is why I didn't want to do this to her. This marriage, I remember warning her clearly, but why was I still feeling guilty?

I clenched my jaw and she got up abruptly. "I have lost my appetite, thanks to you." She murmured and she just left the table. I felt blank, guilty but it all ended in sadness. Was she the only one who felt alone? Who didn't feel good about this marriage? I was never easy on trusting people, it was hard for me too.