Royal Arrangement

6) KABIR~ A New Habit

I held Nalini gently as she leaned her head against my chest. I felt my pulse rise. Never out of any day would I have imagined she could be this weak. Her hands clutched onto my sleeve so lightly yet the grip was death strong, like she was afraid to let go.

I heard her uneven breathing as she breathed against my neck. My hand rested on the back of her neck as I made her look in my eyes. Her eyes opened gently as she stared at me through those red eyes. "Why didn't you argue when I asked you to come with me? You should have let me know, that you were this serious." I muttered to her.

She gulped lightly. "I.. I thought I could manage and I didn't think you would care." She said and her words ripped through my heart. I wouldn't care about what? Her condition? I would give anything to see her doing well, as a human it was the bare minimum.

"Next time if you ever let me do this to you, I would make sure you won't repeat it again. Use this sharp tongue of yours for the right use Mrs. Shekhawat." I clenched my jaw seeing those tears well in her eyes. Guilt filled me thinking of how I dragged her with me for that stupid meeting.

I should have knows when she didn't let go of my hand. When she didn't say a word, when she didn't eat like she usually did, when she didn't use her sarcasm, her boldness, her dirty talk. I hadn't had any idea this was going to happen. But how could I forget, she was a human first, a woman, my wife?

"You love touching me." She whispered and I sighed, giving a small smile. "Help me to the bathroom." She said again and I just nodded my head.
"You make me do things, I'd never be willing to do. Like helping you put on your clothes. If that isn't you trying to seduce me, what is?" I asked slowly taking her in my arms as she wrapped her arms around my neck and I lifted her up, pretty easily.

"I will give you an opportunity to help me take them off today." She said. Same old style of talking but her voice didn't convince me enough. She didn't smile like she did. I made her sit on the edge of bath tub. My eyes scanned her face and she just stared down at her feet.

"Thankyou Kabir." She whispered but I heard it. I walked outside closing the door gently, giving her the space. I leaned against the door and breathed in. My heart thundered in my chest. I stared down at my hands and I found them trembling. My anxiety was crippling me ever since I saw her weak. I took a deep breath in. My memories were haunting me and I wasn't looking forward to turn weak.

"Fuck." I muttered under my breath. I heard her call my name and I just stood there listening to what she had to say. Surprisingly, Nalini's presence in my life did make a difference. My life was less boring, more about annoyed mornings, rude comebacks, acting like a jerk around her, making her regret not listening to my warnings. A part of me loved to look for a reason to make her talk back, boldly, coldly and as intellectually as I expect her to.

"I need a nightdress." She said and I walked to her side of the closet. I saw the well organised closet and there I found some silk night gowns. I picked the white one. A little part of me smirked and the other felt weird about my actions. I wouldn't pick my favourite colour for her, but I did.

I knocked on the door and she sat there with her hair tied up. Her dress pressed against her front. Her tanned back exposed to me. Her pale face reminding me of my limits I didn't need to cross. I walked closer to her and handed her the dress. I looked at her up close. Her face, slender neck, her back, her rich brown hair, her full lips were so appeasing to my eyes. I realised just then, just how pretty she was and it did nothing but add onto the burden inside me.

I was getting attracted to her, I couldn't. I sighed as I turned around. After a few seconds I felt her tap step beside me. "I can walk." She said as she headed outside. I noticed the white silk gown on her skin. Just as I had pictured. Her cheeks red, as always. Her lip being bit by her own teeth. I licked my lower lip gently as she swiftly put the matching robe on, tying it in place, covering those shoulder blades and chest.