Royal Arrangement

14) KABIR~ Losing till I win

"I know Kabir, I know. I know I was not completely right." She said and I felt her hair covering my hand as they fell down. Her hair tie fell down on the floor and my eyes followed it. I looked back at her eyes. I could see the rim of them watering. Reminding me of how bare she got when she cried that night. Reminding me that she hid them so often but she must have let me in for me to see them.

I saw how she blinked the water away. "Then what is it about Nalini? This anger, this denial." My hand supported her neck as we stood close. The similar scent of the jewellery, her perfume, her hair, her choora, her body invaded me. I felt the familiar warmth. I hated that I noticed it, that I missed it even if it was just a minute feeling on the back of my head.

"Exactly Kabir. It's about nothing at all. There isn't anything. We both know it's useless. You are never going to give this a chance because you've already won, and... I just know that I can't treat it like nothing at all. Then why should I go back? Why? Give me one justified reason and I will go without a further question. I promise." Her words settled in but I didn't let them in my heart. I didn't know what to say. Her eyes turned red from how hard she held back her tears and I felt the guilt doubling inside me.

How could I tell her that I was aware of her suffering. How could I tell her that I knew exactly what she was talking about. How could I tell her that it was the reason why I never made an effort for all that time in the first place. It was everything or nothing at all for me. I was troubled myself but I had no choice. And there was only one reason for me.

"Because you are My Wife until those sign those damned divorce papers. This is the only reason you would ever need to stay by my side until this shit is over. I don't guarantee sky that there would be nothing at all. But I promise I'd try my best to not ruin it again until we both bear this arrangement. I have duties, you do too. Don't make me force you the hard way. Please." 

I breathed close to her face and she bit her bare lips again. They missed the stroke of lipstick she should be wearing, matching the vermilion. I didn't want to ruin it but I wanted a bite of them too. I couldn't stop thinking of that bottom lips tucked between my teeth instead of hers. I clenched my jaw. And yet there was nothing.

"Okay, I will go back with you and I'd make sure you lose this bet Kabir because, you've already lost with that look in your eyes." She mused trying to get away and I completely ignored her comment. That's where she was, the Nalini I met on the first night. So sure to make it work. I hissed a breath in.

"Now answer my question from earlier. Why are you all dressed up?" I asked holding her against me, still. I knew damn well the coldness that was gonna spread through me when I would feel the loss of her body against mine.

"First let me go." She whispered eyeing my lips. I smiled. "First answer my question."
"It's just another excuse of yours to hold me close." She twisted her lips. Her expression changing to an amused one.
"I don't need excuses to hold you close, I need will. And I have enough of that."  I sighed.
"Fuck You." She flared her nostrils and I knew I offended her enough.
"Keep affirming it sky. I will grant your wish for sure." I tucked her hair behind her ear revealing the matching white pearl earrings she wore. 

She pushed me away and I let her. She walked towards her room and paused. I stuffed my hands in my pocket, amused enough. She turned around. "Remember Kabir, every time you pull me close you're ending your chances of winning the bet." She muttered and I nodded my head. As if I didn't know.

"And I am attending my close friend's wedding today." She added staring at me with a weird kind of smile lingering on her face. It wasn't a happy one but it wasn't a sad one either.