Royal Arrangement

29) NALINI~ Leaving it behind

I looked back at our room one last time. All the moments that I had experienced in the past two weeks flashed afresh in my head. Even if I didnt want to think of it, my heart sank at the mere possibility of everything ending, this phase that had given me the assurance, the experience of love was finally on the edge of getting over. Especially after last night, I was sure of one and only thing, that being my feelings for Kabir.

Who was going to tell him? That the sky had leaned down to his feet finally. That the sky came to him so that he could touch it, feel it. What did it mean other than the sky was in love with him. His sky was in love with him.

I bet it wasnt even a surprise for him. I gave myself to him. I had promised and trusted myself when I l allowed him touch me, love me, make me feel things I didnt even know I could feel. I had trusted myself that no matter what happened, I would be able to let him go when needed. I would let him go when everything was going to be over. But now I didnt want it to be over. I was afraid I had messed up.

Nalini. Kabirs voice echoes through me. I turned my head to look at him. He walked closer to me as he held my extended hand in his. His other hand held my face against his palm. He was speaking something, but I was too dazed to understand. I was overwhelmed by the numbness, the sadness, the love I had for him, I gulped gently. My thoughts consumed me. I pulled him down, my lips landed on his. For one last time, I wanted it to be sweet, soft, fragile. Fragile like my love for him.

I was surprised when he didnt pull away, didnt move either. He was still. I shut my eyes and felt the wholeness of the moment. I didnt move my lips at all. I stood there with our bodies pressed together. I love u. I said to him, wishing he could hear my thoughts. But I was too afraid to say it out loud. In my head I was screaming on top of my lungs for him to say it back, but I just couldnt.

I slipped down, trailing my lips down to his neck and I stood there. There was a thick silence surrounding us. I looked back at the room and smiled before I extended my hand to close the door. I took a deep breath, "it was one of my favorite trips I have ever taken." I said to him and he clicked his tongue.

"Honeymoon sky, say it correctly." He smiled at me and my heart skipped a beat. I bit my lower lip and gave him a nod.

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Seattle, America.

It had been two days since we came back. Most of the time had gone by while we were getting over our jet lag. But still I couldn't digest the fact that Kabir owned a mansion here in Seattle. It seemed unsettling to me that he lived alone in this place. It was big, not huge but big for a couple.

It wasn't as empty or grim I thought Kabir would like. It was light, beautiful and cozy in itself. The main wall of the living room had different pictures of the night-sky and clouds. Some were paintings and I didn't know why I was in an awe. I stared blankly at the wall as I paused in the stairs.

Kabir and I didn't even talk much after we returned. I had a hard time adjusting to this new place that was so new to me yet so familiar. And now that I knew that I had to be ready for the distance between us sooner or later, it made me feel isolated inside my chest.

"Why are all these paintings here?" I asked, feeling Kabir's presence behind me. He held my hand gently and guided me down the stairs. I stared at him as he inhaled a small breath.
He looked back at me as we took a seat next to each other on the dining table. His eyes looking nowhere but in my own eyes.
"Because I love Sky." He said.

My heart as if was a drum that was hit so forcefully, I felt it in my body. "Oh" I nodded. He didn't take his eyes off of me while I processed what he just said. My eyes itched with the water that was starting to edge in them.