Royal Arrangement

27) NALINI~ Naked

I inhaled a deep breath as I walked a few steps ahead of Kabir. The beach was empty since it was way past midnight. Only the sound of ocean, our footsteps, wind and my overthinking. My heart beat ever so light, as I replayed there conversation. A part of it, was sweet but another part of it was absurd.
The dinner was no fun after I got to know that Hina had let him in so much easier. She shouldn't have told him anything. Now all that going to be there, was his sympathy and pity. I did not want that for sure.

I gulped as my eyes watered. How wrong was it? I wanted to tell him everything but not like this. I wanted him to genuinely ask me, not because he was curious to know. My past wasn't some entertainment movie, it was trauma. And I wanted to share it with him, and not just narrate to him. It was everything I had hidden inside me, and it was funny how he thought it was a mere game of curiosity for him.

"Nalini." He called my name, gently. I shut my eyes briefly as I picked my pace. His footsteps followed me, I almost started running on the beach. I wanted to get away from him. I didn't want to let my emotions take over me. I was hurt and I didn't want to hurt him, no matter what.

I inhaled a sharp breath when he grabbed my arm and stopped me. I groaned as I pushed him away. "Kabir let go, I am serious. Please let go." I didn't look up at him because I know if I did, I would end up in his arms again.

"No, we are having a talk right now. I am not letting you run away with this emotional turmoil. I can't afford another misunderstanding Nalini." He said near my ear as his hands held me while I kept struggling.

"I might overreact Kabir, I don't want to hurt you with words I don't even mean." I finally pushed him away. Tears burning in my eyes. He didn't try touching me again. He stood there with his hands on his hips as he stared at me. I felt the burning and cold stare he was giving me.

I didn't look up at him. I took a step back and he took one forward. I turned around again, starting to walk again. "I told you Nalini, you can't get away without talking it out. And especially when I didn't do anything wrong." He said and I scoffed.

"It was wrong of you Kabir to try to learn about me from someone else! You asked me, and when I was reluctant to tell you, there must have been a reason for it!" I yelled, finally. I paused in my footsteps and he bumped into me.
His hand grabbed my arm, gently. "And that is what I was trying to understand Nalini, what was the reason. I never asked Hina for the story Nalini. I was curious to get to know you better." There he said it himself.

"My past is not something to be curious about! It is my everything. It's not some treasure hunt Kabir!" I gritted my teeth as I grabbed the hem of his shirt.

"For fuck's sake Nalini. I am not looking to be entertained, I only want to get to know you. I might not be good with words, but I know the right thing to do. If I let you in on my past, it's because I trust you with it. And if you're not ready to share yet, it's okay. But doesn't it mean, you don't trust me enough?" He said and his words hit me. I knew my thoughts were hazed with defence and ego. I was irrational.

"I told you Kabir, I am not in the right mind to talk it out. Please stop." I muttered looking down again. I shut my eyes and he just ignored my words.
"And you really think Nalini, It's because you're not ready? It's possibly because, you're afraid. Isn't that why you were so pissed at Hina, because you knew that she'd give in and advice me how to enter the walls you have."

I looked up. "Yes, I am afraid Kabir. But you know what I am afraid of?" I stared in his eyes and saw them changing shades. He didn't know what I was afraid of. He was wrong, even if he knew. How would he know?
"I am not afraid of telling you my past. I am not afraid of you finding out what I went through, I am sure what you went through was worse. But What I am afraid of Kabir is... that I'd start loving you. My past is the only thing left, that I haven't given you because it's everything I have. And if I give you that, you tell me, would I be able to not love you? Especially after this fucking bet is over? I want you to win Kabir, because you should. But I'd break if you leave after you know it all." I sobbed as I bit my lip trying to hold it in.