Leaving Behind

9. The Uncertainty

PETE

I sat on the bench near the river while waiting for them to finish interrogating the man that I believed is working with Don. I feel like going back to the main family mansion, but I'm afraid of what will Vegas do if I leave without him knowing.

To be honest, I don't feel like seeing him again today. What he did just now really did hurt my dignity and feelings. He forced me to get out of the basement during the interrogation session. I'm a bodyguard of a mafia family. If I couldn't even handle that, what should I do? The way he acted shows how weak I am in his eyes.

"He spoke out." A familiar voice can be heard approaching me from behind. I turned to him for a second before looking around to see if there were anyone from main or minor family around. I don't think it is a good idea for us to be seeing together. I looked back at him after making sure no one is around.

"I had sent my people back long ago and your friends are busy wrapping up." Vegas said, noticing my uneasiness. He then decided to take a seat on the same bench. I can feel his eyes looking at me. He asked, almost whispering, but loud enough for me to hear, "You almost experience another attack, aren't you? Are you okay?"

"I can handle it by myself." I replied with a straight tone. I couldn't even control my emotion. I was so mad at him and myself. It was a silent moment. I couldn't even think of how unusual of him to be asking that. He was infamous for being ruthless and cruel afterall.

"What happened to 'it will not affect my performance'?" Vegas repeated my words from the last time, the night when we had a walk together at a park.

"Has it ever cross your mind that I might be trying to overcome it?" I asked him, with a slightly higher tone.

"You had met Dr. Top again? What's your diagnosis?" Vegas asked without answering my question. What? How did he knew? I looked at him. Our eyes met. My eyes got soften seeing his worried eyes.

"PTSD." I answered his question.

"What? How? Why? What's the cause?" Vegas furrowed his brow. He seemed genuinely worried. I can't understand why he had that look on his face. He shouldn't have fallen in love with me. I had done nothing to make him feels that way towards me. If I have the chance to make a choice, I didn't even want to.

I diverted my eyes away from his. "It's not like it can be caused by only one incident, you know? I'm a bodyguard. I experienced a lot of traumatic events while on duty." That was half of the truth.

"That is not good, then..." Vegas commented. He paused, thinking hard. "So, you should stop being a bodyguard." He continued.

"I said I'm trying to overcome it." I raised my voice's volume a little higher than usual. Who is he to control my life and career?

We paused our conversation once we heard the sound of footsteps approaching. "Hey, Pete... Khun Vegas." Porsche greeted me and Vegas. I turned to him while Vegas kept his eyes on me.

"We're going back to the main family's mansion. Are you coming?" Porshe asked me.

"I'm coming..." I quickly rise up to go back with the other main family bodyguards without even considering to ask Vegas first. I stopped as Vegas hold my wrist to prevent me from leaving. I looked at him, puzzled, trying to read his expression.

"I will send him back." Vegas replied to Porsche on my behalf.

Porsche looked at me and Vegas back and forth. "Okay..." Porsche hesitated to leave with with Vegas. I gave him a smile and nodded at him, not to worry him.

"I'll make up something for you, just in case Kinn notices." Porsche offered. By this time, Porsche and Khun Kinn had started to get close. He gave me a tap on my shoulder and bowed slightly towards Vegas before he walked away. Vegas and I watched as Porsche get into the one of the two main family's cars and kept watching as both cars drifted away until they were out of our sight.